Last minute plans will have me running around, today, like a chicken with my head cut off! I was going to leaving Friday morning for Maine. My uncle is celebrating his 75th birthday this weekend. While conversing via e-mail last night, it sounds like my cousin, Vicki, can use a helping hand with the last minute details for the party. So, I'm going to leave Thursday.

It's been a few years since I last visited my relatives in Old Town. Hopefully I will have a chance to see the majority of them at the party on saturday. Of course I haven't a clue what to get my uncle for a gift. I'm not even certain I'll recognize him. My uncle quit smoking cigars!! I can't recall ever seeing him without a cigar stub in his hand or mouth. Vicki suggested something to do with the Red Sox, since Uncle Joe is a Boston fan.

I come from a large family and it's nice to have pictures to remember who is who. I'll be lugging along my camera to capture the family antics. When I say large family, we could populate a small country. On my Mother's side of the family, I have 65 FIRST cousins! I won't even attempt to count my cousins children!! Family gatherings are normally 150+ people for the day. These are just the ones that live in the area, not even full reunions. While I'm in Old Town, I'm going to try my best to get some pictures of the gathering. Unless you've been to Maine, with me, people have a hard time comprehending the size of this family!! At some point I'll have the pictures on my web page for everyone to view.

It's time I started running my race for today - clean the car, hair appointment, laundry, packing, bank run...... and of course a few Scrabble moves in between.

Video Voyeur Update:

How can anyone set up a video camera in THEIR bathroom in THEIR home and plead not guilty? Only two adults lived in the home - Ron and the roommates he video taped.


Accused voyeur pleads not guilty

NORWICH -- The Massachusetts man who allegedly used a hidden video camera to secretly film nude female roommates at his Colchester home pleaded not guilty in Norwich Superior Court Monday.

Ronald A. LaMontagne is charged with two counts of voyeurism and 20 counts of disseminating voyeuristic material, a felony. LaMontagne allegedly traded the images over the Internet and through the mail, police said.

Have you ever woken up with a song in your head that just won't go away?!! That's what is happening in my head today. The worst part is that I don't know the name of the song and I've never heard it played. You see, years ago, I used to square dance (stop laughing!). The song playing in my head, was one used for square dancing. The dance caller would take a song and incorporate square dance moves into the song. The lyrics I know, without the square dance moves are "Did you ever lie and listen to the rain fall? Did you ever eat a homemade apple pie? Did you ever hold a child while it was sleeping? Just don't the good life pass you by". I'm pretty certain this is a country/western song and would really love to hear the real song. So, if ANYONE knows the name of the song, who sang it, or anything about this song, please tell me!!!!

Several people have asked when I was going to respond to this weeks "We Have Brains" topic. Quite honestly I was going to, simply because everyone has a theory that can not be proven to be right or wrong. You can click on "We Have Brains" to read the full topic but it comes down to: "Is it nature or nurture that causes us to act like 'boy's or girl's".

I do not believe it can be determined how much of our “biological” sex is nature or nurture. Unless we can eliminate any and all references to gender when raising children, we will never know just what is nature or nurture.

How can you explain same sex children (boys or girls) being raised in the same home, same values, same education – yet as different as night and day? How would you explain identical twins, raised in different homes, by different parents, with different values – but identical in their choices for mates, jobs, values when they are adults?

We can theorize all we want, but there will be no way for us to prove our theories. You can only teach your values and beliefs to a child until a certain point. As the child grows they develop their own personalities, form their own likes, dislikes and values Sometimes based upon their upbringing, sometimes totally opposite. I don’t think anyone can say with certainty where the opposite values came into the child’s life.

Sing praises to the Goddess Persophone!

Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move.

Take the God/Goddess test


Don't care about being a God/Goddess? How about the Ultimate IQ Test?
I scored 133!!

Congrats Colette!!!! She's graduating from PACE University today with a Bachelors in Computer Science.

I went to an auction yesterday, mostly to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time - Roger. He hasn't changed a bit, balding, opinionated, sexist, lovable old coot - I wouldn't change a thing about him. After the auction we went to Klekolo for coffee and to catch up on old times. While we were talking this guy walked by with a phone stuck in his ear. I commented about another one that was born with a birth defect - phone in his ear. Roger informed me that is the artist, Jason, whose sculptures are hanging on the wall inside Klekolo. What a coincidence!!! I had e-mailed him a few days prior because I want to purchase one of his pieces!! Well, I just had to follow him into Klekolo, being a polite person, I didn't interrupt his phone conversation - just followed him from spot to spot and back out the door. He finally realized he was being followed. I explained about being the person interested in the Lucien piece etc. and he had just put one in his van that morning! Anyway, I know own one of his sculptures and it will look great hanging on my wall!! Jason joined us for awhile outside talking and we found out he sets up a booth at most of the Ren Faires. He does King Richard's Faire in South Carver, MA as well and has offered me free passes to any of the faires - YIPPEE!!! At $22.00/pp for entrance, those are nice passes to have!
It's been a couple of years since I've been to King Richard's Faire but I'll be making a point to go this year. Even if it's just to see Jason :)

I guess the boat isn't going in the river today since I didn't get a call yesterday :( Its suppose to be a gorgeous day here - hi's around 75, sunny, nice breeze. You know, the kind of day you look forward to all winter long! This morning (what's left of it) will be spent running errands. This afternoon I'll soak up some rays, trying to eliminate the blinding white color of my legs.

I have survived another round of birthday celebrations!! That in and of itself is a major accomplishment. Determined to make the most of my birthday this year, I started celebrating friday afternoon at my favorite watering hole, J&G's. I spent most of the time chatting with a friend, Tommy and managed to get an invite onto his boat this monday. It's not a big boat and he'll launch it into the Connecticut River in the morning, head down river, and just "hang" for the day.

Satuday morning I was very rudely awaked about 5:00, to the sound of my smoke alarm chirping - NOT NICE! Knowing I didn't have a 9V battery here, I had to tolerate the chirp. These alarms are hardwired into our electrical system. Pulling the battery out won't stop the chirping. Luckily it stopped after a couple of hours. By then I was awake and grumpy. On my way back to J&G's for more celebrating, I picked up a new battery. I was NOT going to be awaken again by the chirping at an ungodly hour (wrong!). After too many free Margarita's I returned home about 11:00 last night and proceeded to attempt to change the battery. I spent about 15 minutes trying to remove the electrical connector so I could open the cover to the battery. Never thinking to get a screwdriver and pry it open, I surrendered in frustration. As you can probably guess, I was again woken this morning, about 5:30, by the not so quiet chirping. Tossing the pillow and blankets over my head did not muffle the sound. There were serious thoughts of ripping it out of the ceiling this morning. After my first cup of coffee, it finally occured to me --- screwdriver!! With that flash of brilliance (does happen sometimes) I proceeded to change the battery!! Now the smoke detector is hanging from it's electrical connection with a new battery. When my patience returns I'll try snapping the cover back into the plate.

I'm trying to decide how to spend today - quietly soaking up the suns rays while reading a book or attending an auction at The Buttonwood Tree. The proceeds from the auction will be going to the Connecticut Poetry Festival being held in September. The have one really cool item I'd love to have -- dinner and hot tub party for 4 people. Of course I would need to have 3 single men to help me really really really enjoy it!!! Do I have any volunteers?

Marianismo

What is it in our global culture that has the majority of women convinced that sacrifice and selflessness signify a morally sound woman? What do you think of the assumption that females, if mentally stable, are all willing to not only play the role of mother, but give up their own lives to do so, while men are never questioned about why they did not put their careers on hold around age 30 to start a family? I am sure exceptions to the rule exist, but what is important here is that these assumptions and expectations are the rule.

What I am asking is a loaded question: What is wrong when in a society, instead of encouraging cooperative childrearing, competition is promoted among moms to see who can, in the spirit of Marianismo, sacrifice the most? How do we change this narrowminded thinking?


Interesting topic for debate but one that really should not be debated. Quite simply put, until men can give birth, it will be the woman’s decision to have children. She is the one to make the final choice and sacrifice. She is the one that will gain weight, vomit, go through major hormone changes etc. For nine months her body will be the sole support for a new life, totally dependent upon her. Everything she does, eats, drinks will have an effect on that life. During that nine month period a bond of total dependency forms between a mother and child. If a mother chooses to breastfeed, the child is still dependent upon the mother’s body total nourishment. This is a bond men simply can not comprehend because they don’t live it. That’s not to say men don’t form a bond, they do, but it’s not quite the same bond.

When speaking of “cooperative child rearing” it can mean cooperation of both parents or daycare. While raising a child can be done by one (many singles do it and my compliments to them) it’s best to have two parents. Even if it’s just to have a “back up” to give one parent a break from the mental stress of the day. It’s my belief (and I’ll probably get slammed for this) one parent should be a stay at home parent. Raising a child is a full time job, one that should not be entrusted to strangers (day care). You are no longer instilling your values on the child when you hire someone else to raise them. I have no statistics to back up my opinions, but look back to the days when Mom stayed at home. The family was a “single unit” and not constantly running to do get it all done. There was quality time for everyone. Today, children tend to get lost in the shuffle because parents are too busy attempting to “do it all”.

It doesn’t HAVE to be the woman. Many men would be willing to be stay at home Dads, if they had the opportunity. The decision to be a stay at home parent is an economical decision. Can one parent afford to give up their job without giving up their living standards. If the “family” can get by with one paycheck, it’s usually the person making the least, that will stay home. In too many cases that is still the woman.

Months ago friends pointed me to a Yahoo Group called "Fly Lady Mentors". This group teaches you how to "organize your chores" so the task of completing them isn't overwhelming. I had started to "declutter" my home and get myself organized awhile back. I even loved the clean home. Then my proscrastinating self took over and kept saying "I'll do it tomorrow". Before I knew what was happening, I had fallen back into my same old routine of procasting until it HAD to be done. Well the clutter is back and the routine has fallen by the wayside. It's time to regroup and move my butt!

Surely I am not the only one that has a difficult time motivating myself? It usually takes me being completely disgusted with something for me to do something about it. How do you motivate youself before getting to the disgusted with the mess stage?

Today I'm in a motivated mood and have scrubbed down my kitchen - completely. I'm tired but I need to continue since these "cleaning modes" are few and far between. Having known myself, all my life, I know I won't do it tomorrow - therefore it MUST get done today.

Happy Mother's Day to all my surrogate "Mom's".

Last night I went to Karl & Vic's house to witness the playing of "Magic, The Gathering". I found it a bit complicated but I think I have the general idea of the game. Now I need to read up on the game to see if I can follow it better the next time. You see, I'm no longer a "virgin" so no one will be easy on me. It's a bit ironic that two anti-war people would enjoy a game where the object is to kill your competition --- as Vic stated "pre-emptive strikes". Then next time, I'll leave the "healthy food" at home and bring several boxes of Cheez-its.

Vic, I hope you don't mind but when I walked into the house, my mind went immediately in to "decorating" ideas. Major brain overload - I love to decorate but never any $$$ to accomplish what head imagines. That house has so many possibilities - including a great place for Halloween parties!

Tomorrow is the start of "Hell Week" for my family. It's the busiest week of the year for us. Starting with Mother's Day, my brother Darryl's birthday, Becky's (niece) birthday, my birthday and a college graduation the following monday. Becky is also being Confirmed today, but I chose to not drag my butt out to attend to the ceremony.

Having the two birthday's and Mother's Day in the same week was always interesting when I was growing up. It seemed like a week long party. We would celebrate Darryl's birthday on the saturday before Mother's Day. We celebrated Mother's Day and they following saturday we would celebrate my birthday. We've gotten older and birthday's aren't as special as when we were young (who wants to be reminded of their age?). Tomorrow, we will have one big celebration at my parents house.

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!! Even being unemployed, I still enjoy friday's and happy (several) hour(s) at J&G's in East Granby. Today will be no exception.

An interesting discussion came up last night after the open mic poetry reading at Klekolo. Why is it legal for men to be seen in public without shirts but women are arrested for doing the same thing? I can't recall a time when I went without a shirt, even as a child. It's a way of life that is taught, but never with any thought as to why. Why are women's breast considered a sexual organ and not mens? There was a time when a woman was not allowed to show her ankles, because the sight would arouse men's sexual desires. Women are raised to be responsible for men's reactions to their bodies. Until the mentality is changed and men take on reponsiblity for their thoughts and actions, women will never be allowed to walk around shirtless.

The naked female body has long been a "think of beauty" to men, something to be worshipped and fantasized about, because it's covered. Maybe that's why men seem to have such higher sex drives than women. Men for the most part, have no problem walking around naked. There is no longer any mystery left to fill those fantasies. Guys, women need to have those same kinds of fantasies to keep us interested.

I think I'm finally getting the hang of this (it's about time)!!! Of course, I still call "woman's perrogative to change her mind" and may change it all tomorrow :) I've sent this link to several friends that continue ask the too familiar question - what's happening. I no longer need to remember what I said and to who (it's a bitch having brain farts!).

For those of you that are just getting to know me, my name is Bernadette and I'm a cruise-a-holic. That is, I love taking cruises. You may find me wandering to a lido deck where I will attempt to vacation in my mind. Feel free to join me on that deck, with a margarita and swaying to the rythyms of the calypso band.

Another "blogger", Kerri, has an interesting question on her blog about smart women being imposters I've never thought of myself as an imposter as much as didn't realize just how smart I am. I considered myself to be of average intelligence. Having never seen any of my IQ scores, I had no idea how I measured to the rest of society. Somewhere in the early 1980's I came across a Mensa entrance exam. A friend, who has also been a teacher, administered the test -- and I passed! I was completely shocked!!!

In order to believe in my intelligence I needed to be shown, I am intelligent. From that point on, I found a voice for my opinions knowing they are just good (sometimes better) than others opinions. In my line of work, I have discovered an niche where I am able to communicate with people speaking "techno-geek" and translate there communications into something the rest of the world can understand. If I am faced with disagreeing with a person, I try to do so tactfully and not to leave them feeling it's a personal attack.

Saturday, as I said, was spent trying to decide what I should do. I finally chatted with a friend of mine and she convinced me I had to contact the State Police. Even if just for my own piece of mind, but with the thoughts of putting this guy behind bars. Saturday evening I called the State Police barracks in Colchester and left a message for the Lt. in charge of the investigation (he only works M-F).

Monday morning, Lt. Abrams returned my call and asked me just how well I knew Ron. I explained about casually dating him and that I had been in his home several times etc. At that point he asked for me if I would be willing to come in and give a sworn statement. We agreed to meet at 1:00 pm, in the Colchester barracks.

I met with Lt. Abrams, about 1:00pm, at the Colechester barracks and gave my statement. I spent 2 hours giving my statement and posing for a couple of pictures. One thing I can be certain of helping them with, they didn't know about Ron's hotmail account. They only knew about his AOL account. So they will be contacting Hotmail/MSN to subpoena all the information from that account, now that they know about it.

At the moment, Lt. Abrams has not viewed the tapes. He will contact me when he's finished, to let me know if I am or I am not on the tapes. I've already stated if I am on any of the tapes, I will prosecute. I also let him know that I set up Ron's computer for him. He asked if I loaded any software and I told him only AOL and MS-Office for him. That was the only software I loaded. I never connected any video equipment, nor did I know that Ron had a video camera.

Another reason I felt the need to contact the State Police was for the well being of Ron's son, Quinton. Ron's home was a two bedroom. When he had a roommate, I knew Quinton slept in Ron's bed. For my own peace of mind, I needed to be certain someone would be looking into any possibility of sexual abuse. At first, Lt. Abrams just brushed my statement aside saying Ron insists he would never do anything to harm his son. While I would like to believe that, I still would feel better if this was atleast mentioned to Quinton's Mom. Knowing that Quinton may not say anything against his Dad, she should know they did share a bed and it's a possibility. If Ron can do this video taping, then heaven only knows what else he may be capable of doing. Finally Lt. Abrams relented and stated he would mention this to Quinton's Mom but it would be up to her to determine if there was abuse of any sort. I just pray my guts suspicions are totally wrong! However, if they are right, I will do everything in my power to see that Ron spends an eternity behinds bars!! I have a very close friend that is dealing with this now, as an adult, and I can't close my eyes to the possibility of child having to go through this experience.

At the moment, all I can do is sit and wait to hear from Lt. Abrams. He said he would also keep me posted about the case and I have to trust that he will keep his word.

Well I think I have some of this figured out already. My brain hasn't needed to think this hard in 8 months! I may get better at this if I pour myself a Margarita.

Some of you reading this may wonder what even prompted to check out this article. Well, it might be because I was casually dating this guy from 12//01 until around 9/02. I was in his home, multiple times and I was the person that set up his new computer system when his old one was beyond salvage.

I found the first news article friday night while reading the news on-line. The heading "Former Colechester Man Arrest For Video Voyeurism" just sort of caught my eye. His name jumped off the screen and hit me square in the eyes, when I opened the link. No one is ever 100% certain of a person's background and traits when they first start to date. My intuition was so far off, I may have to stop trusting it in the future! Ron was a bit strange (aren't we all) but I would have never even suspected something like this could have happened.

On saturday, I spent the day trying to decide what I should do. Hundreds of questions messed with my head all day. Should I contact the police; keep my mouth shut; Am I on any of those tapes; Do I want to know if I'm on tapes; OMG - if I am on the tapes how embarassing will it be knowing other people will need to view those tapes to put Ron behind bars. The one thing I was extremely grateful for, Ron and I only dated casually! There were never any intimate relations between us and therefore, no possibility of XXX videos. Thank the "powers that be" for big favors!!!

This article is from the 5/4/03 Hartford Courant:

Did The Clock Hide A Camera?
Police Say Man Taped Housemates

May 3, 2003
By TRACY GORDON FOX, Courant Staff Writer

COLCHESTER -- When she moved into Ronald LaMontagne's house last July, his newest roommate noticed he repaired a lot of electronic equipment, such as VCRs, camcorders and laptop computers.

She liked that he allowed her to use the big-screen television, his computer and other appliances, all for the cheap rent of $300 a month. The woman didn't think twice about the Sony clock radios that were on a waist-high shelf in her bathroom and bedroom, or that LaMontagne was doing a lot of home improvements in those rooms.

That changed Aug. 10, when the woman received a troubling e-mail from LaMontagne's ex-wife, warning her that he was secretly videotaping her in the bathroom and bedroom, and distributing the graphic images on the Internet and through the mail.

Her complaint to state police led to an eight-month investigation that concluded Friday with Montagne's arrest on a voyeurism charge and 20 counts of disseminating voyeuristic material to Internet users across the country and as far away as Algeria.

Investigators discovered that the innocuous-looking clock radios housed "pinhole" cameras connected to covert surveillance equipment that could record images 100 feet away. Videocassette recorders in his master bedroom were set up to make duplicate copies, police said.

Police said they believe the 42-year-old secretly filmed at least four women in their 20s, disseminating the tapes to Washington, Illinois, Oklahoma and Texas to a bizarre network of other voyeurs who like to watch images of women showering or even changing their tampons.

"It's not a common crime. It's not something you see all the time," said Sgt. J. Paul Vance, a state police spokesman.

Voyeurism is a misdemeanor. Disseminating voyeuristic material is a felony that carries a maximum five years in prison.

In e-mails to other voyeurs, police said, LaMontagne, who used the screen name "Lamont124," told them he uses a "spy cam," and said he videotaped roommates, ex-girlfriends, and even co-workers. LaMontagne lured roommates to his home by advertising the room on Roommates.com on the Internet, police said.

The allegations shocked the quiet neighborhood of modular homes on small, well-groomed lots in the Westchester section of Colchester. LaMontagne told neighbors he was a counselor in a halfway house in Glastonbury, a job he no longer holds.

They knew him as a quiet neighbor who liked sports and the Boston Red Sox, and cared for his 11-year-old son on occasion. But he rarely socialized with them, shying away from neighborhood picnics.

Neighbors knew police had been at his house last year, but heard he had been arrested on drug charges. Police had found drug paraphernalia after they searched his home, but were really there to confiscate the hidden cameras, and search his computers for evidence.

"It's a nice neighborhood," said Mike Tyler, who lives across the street from where Montagne used to live. "I'm surprised anybody would do something like that."

According to the 19-page affidavit charging LaMontagne, this is not the first time videotaping has gotten him into trouble. On June 17, 2000, LaMontagne was permanently banned from Six Flags Amusement Park in Agawam, Mass., after he was caught filming the chest and genital areas of young girls in the wave pool near the water slide.

Tyler said he noticed that LaMontagne often had his shades and curtains closed, and "that was kind of odd."

But when state police arrived to search LaMontagne's house last year, the shades were wide open. As officers arrived, they said, he was sitting in plain view, naked in a wooden chair in front of his 27-inch television.

"He was masturbating while watching a voyeuristic videotape of nude females taking a shower," the affidavit said.

LaMontagne has since moved out of his Colchester home, where there is a for-sale sign in the window. The gray house is empty, but children's bicycles, toys and a rusted swing set remain in the back yard.

His lawyer, John Maxwell of Glastonbury, declined to comment on the case after LaMontagne was arraigned, and would say only that his client is employed and not a flight risk. LaMontagne is now living with a sister in Worcester.

His bail was set at $15,000 with the conditions that he not contact any of the alleged victims and not possess or use any computer equipment.

Let's start off with a few news articles. This is from 5/2/03 Hartford Courant:

Man Accused Of Secretly Taping Women
11:33 AM EDT,May 2, 2003
Associated Press

COLCHESTER, Conn. -- A former Connecticut man has been charged with secretly taping nude women in his Colchester home. Ronald Lamontagne, 43, who now lives in Worcester, Mass., videotaped several women in his Connecticut home without their knowledge and sent tapes off to points across the country and the world, state police said Friday.

Lamontagne, who turned himself in to state police, was charged with two counts of voyeurism and 20 counts of disseminating voyeuristic material.

State police said tapes were sent to Washington, Illinois, Texas, Oklahoma and as far way as Algeria.

Lamontagne made contact with people in other state and overseas over the Internet to distribute the tapes.

The investigation began after a woman who had rented a room at Lamontagne's home in 2002 was told by another woman that she was being secretly taped while nude.

Police said the initial complaint led to evidence that several other women were secretly recorded in a bedroom and bathroom at the home.

Detectives have identified four of the women discovered in the tapes, but said there are images of other women they have not identified.

"We're asking anyone who is a past renter, friend or associate of this guy to contact us," said Sgt. J. Paul Vance, a state police spokesman.

Lamontagne was being held on $15,000 bond pending arraignment in Norwich Superior Court.