Today's Musings

There are so many times I want to post but never know quite what to post or where to begin. For today, I shall let my brain wander and see where it leads.

I have 3 possible jobs in the works. One at Watkins Motor Lines as an Administrative Assists, another at Henkel-Loctite is a 1-yr temp Computer Operator on 3rd shift, the last is at Home Depot in Enfield doing Data Entry.

The job at Henkel-Loctite is a position that was available in November 2002. After the 2nd interview, I discovered the position was strictly 3rd shift (not 2nd as was advertised) and I withdrew my name from consideration. I knew I wouldn't be happy working 3rd shift and would continue looking for another job. It didn't seem fair to other applicants, the employer or myself to accept the position, knowing I wouldn't stay. If I had been offered the job and turned it down, I would have also lost my Unemployment Compensation (UCI). Having a full savings account and UCI coming in, I thought it the best decision, at the time. If offered the job now, I would have to say "screw being fair" I am looking out for me. The salary at Henkel is close to what I was making in 1998, but since it's a temp position, there are no benefits.

The job at Watkins is an interesting position. It's the Administrative Assistant to the Depot/Terminal Manager. I've interviewed there twice and the people are very nice. While the money is barely 1/2 what I was making at International Paper, I can see myself enjoying this job and staying there for many years. Included in their are fully paid medical and dental for their employees. For the next year, I would have about a 30 mile commute to Cheshire. Watkins has already purchased land and hopes to move to Windsor around January 2005.

Home Depot, well that will be an interim job. I don't care to be a data entry clerk but I'll do it simply because it's a job. I have no idea what the pay scale or benefits are at this point. I wasn't not pleased with the manager that kept me waiting for 45 minutes because he was late getting to work. The hours could be day or evenings and the stores are open 7 days a week. Those aren't to my liking but as I said - it's a job.

Christmas Day was good this year. Unlike last year, I was not snowed in at home and unable to enjoy the holiday with my family. The fun part of the day wasn't even opening gifts. It was the Cool Whip fight my Mom started. She got my nephew, Ricky, first. For some strange reason, he decided it would be more fun (probably safer) to go after my SIL, Debbie. There was Cool Whip flying all over the kitchen. By the time Debbie and Ricky finished, both were in need of showers and clean clothing.

Rick and Jasmine (brother and sister-in-law) left Hawaii on Christmas morning for the Philippines. Jasmine is from Manilla. I'm praying they won't have a problem returning to Hawaii with the heightened security alert. They were married in June or July or 2001. It only took 18 months before Jasmine's VISA was approved and she was able join Rick in Hawaii. They were hoping to fly to CT in January but there's nothing definate planned. It would be nice to finally meet Jasmine. So far she has only met my parents and that was because they went to Hawaii in April.

Marsha is having a New Year's Eve party for a small group of people. Nothing spectacular but a group of single friends getting together to welcome in the New Year. She has plenty of room for people to crash at her house. We don't want anyone drinking and driving. We have the food planned out (spaghetti dinner), BYOB, now we need some kind of entertainment. Any suggestions?

A friend of mine posted White Trash Christmas to a newsgroup. Enjoy the laugh.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Last night I joined the annual Christmas Eve celebration at J&G's. Every year, Manny & Johnny close the restaurant at 6:00, to the paying customers. The "regulars" and staff stick around and have a party. One of the regulars, Steve Howard, took over tending bar so the bartenders could join in the festivities. Marsha joined me for the evening, as did Wig & Sonny. At one point we joined together and assisted Elvis with his rendition of "Blue Christmas". Although it still doesn't feel like Christmas, I must admit, I had a really good time last night and feeling a little more festive.

In just a few hours, I'll be packing the baked goodies into my car and driving to my parents house. We'll celebrate the holiday with way too much food, exchanging gifts and hopefully plenty of laughter. Hmmm, I wonder if the spa is available for today? That would be a nice way to spend Christmas -- relaxing in the spa.

Have a Merry Christmas!!!!!

More white crap falling!!

With Christmas only 11 days away, I'm finally getting to the task of baking. I've been procrastinating and put off the baking long enough. With today's snowfall, it's a good time to be inside with the smells of fresh baked goodies. Sorry, I can't say exactly what I'm baking, my friends and family will just have to wait to see what they get.

I've decided to not decorate this year. I love a having a live tree and I simply can not justify the cost a tree, to throw it away after a few short weeks. It's fun to put up the decorations but taking them down is a chore that I hate. This Christmas isn't a joyous one and the post-holiday depression will hopefully be lessened without the extra chore of undecorating.

Christmas Day I'll be spending with my "family". By family I don't mean just my parents, brother, sister..... it also includes friends. When it comes to any holiday, my friends are my CHOSEN family. We are there for each other because we want to be, not because we are blood relatives. My Mother has always told us "there is always room for one more at our table." I have invited several friends to join our family for Christmas Day and hope they accept the invitation. No one should ever be alone or feel alone on any holiday.

Keeping Busy

Debbie and I finally went to the Bushnell for the Hartford Symphony and Hartford Chorale's performance of Handel's Messiah. It was originally scheduled for last Saturday night but postponed because of the storm. It was an excellent show and it's fun when you are familiar with the music. Debbie and I managed to bite our tongues and not sing along.

While the performance is a very serious one, I managed to find some things to make me chuckle. The first being a male in a tuxedo that looked just like Ian Normal people wouldn't find this sight to be funny. However, if you know Ian, you know you will never see him in tuxedo! Ian, in case you are wondering, you looked great that tuxedo!

The next chuckle came as I scanned the musicians prior to the performance. Wow, there was Scrooge playing violin! This guy looked like one of the "old" Scrooge characters from "A Christmas Carol" and could have played the part without makeup.

The biggest (and continuous) chuckle came from a tenor in the Hartford Chorale. As I listened to the music I noticed movement at the upper corner of the group. There was a tenor that was really in to feeling the music. He was bopping up and down, head going, shoulders moving..... That just struck my funny bone and I started to chuckle. Of course I had to point that out to Debbie, which got her to smiling as well. You just don't see people doing things like that, during classical performances. Just like a rubber-necker at an accident, I HAD to look. Everytime I looked, I chuckled.

There are a few things I've never quite understood about symphonies and The Messiah. First, why do people applaud when the first violinist comes onto the stage? I know it signifies the start of the performance. Why not applaud for the whole orchestra and not just the first violinist? If any of you have ever been to a performance of Messiah, during the Hallelujah chorus, it's customary for the audience to stand. It's probably a "religious" thing but it's not like we are in church. Personally, I saw it as a chance to stretch my legs.

Debbie, I want to say thank you for giving me a chance to get out of the house and find a few things to chuckle about. I know you planning on the chuckle part but you have to admit, that tenor was funny to watch!

OUCH!!!!!!!!

Well I picked up my car today. It does seem to run much better and it should!! At $598 for this month's repairs, the car should run like new!! Well now I know where the oil was going. I knew I needed a tune-up and just thought the car was burning oil. There were no oil spots on the ground to let me know there was a leak. As for the alternator no longer charging, I can't help but wonder if that was a result of the power steering fluid leak. According to Serge, the power steering fluid was spraying all over the belts, causing them to slip.

When it rains, it pours and I'm in the middle of monsoon season.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that I don't need to clean the snow off my car this weekend! The bad news is because my car is back in the shop!!

I had an interview yesterday afternoon, for a temp holiday job in Centerbrook. Although I wasn't looking forward to the daily drive, the job would have brought in a couple hundred dollars. Well, my car had other plans for me. I was on Rt. 9, just past Middletown, when the "air bag" light decided to start flashing. Then it stopped flashing. A few miles later, it started again, my speedometer went crazy and bouncing all over and at on point staying at zero for about 10 seconds, they dashboard lit up and the car started to lose power. I got off the first exit and drove back to Manchester -- very carefully!! It happened again on the way home so I went straight to my mechanic.

Serge took the car in immediately and set it up on the diagnostics equipment. The news is NOT good -- my alternator wasn't charging AND the rear seal on the crankshaft decided to let go. Another few miles and I would have probably lost the last quart of oil in my car and blown the engine. Serge gave me a very rough estimate of $500 for repairs. The only reason I made it back to Manchester without my car stalling, was because I turned off everything except the engine.

Not only will I not be getting the temp holiday job, I get to max out my credit card with major car repairs. There goes any thoughts I had to pick up a few small Christmas gifts for my parents a few very close friends.

In the meantime, I submitted an on-line application to Stop & Shop last night. It was a difficult decision and one where I no longer have any choice. I'd love to see the HR person's face when they read the past salary and work experience then read that I'm applying for a job as a bakery clerk or cashier. I'm actually hoping for a job in the bakery simply because I enjoy baking and the bakery isn't open during the 3rd shift hours.

Holiday Depression

This time of the year there is a marked increase in depression. From my own personal experiences, the best remedy for me is to force myself into the Holiday Spirit. That includes decorating and enjoying the company of friends. Forcing myself to do things I KNOW are fun, but just don't feel like doing.

One of the most rewarding things I have done in the past, is to buy Christmas gifts for a needy child. There are Christmas trees set up at various places with decorated with tags. These tags have the name, age, gift suggestion for a child in foster care with DCF. Younger children usually have toys written for suggestions, while teens have clothing and sizes listed. These are gifts I actually enjoy purchasing. I know my purchase will be wanted and appreciated.

I recall one year, I chose a 5 year old girl. She wanted a black baby doll. Off I went to a huge toy store in search of the perfect baby doll. I must have spent two hours in the store to find just the right doll. Of course, it's no fun having JUST a doll, she needed clothing too! I had to buy several outfits for the doll. The sense of joy it gave me, to be able to make a child happy for Christmas, was unbelievable.

As I opened my gifts that Christmas, I could imagine the look on the little girl's face, knowing that "Santa" brought her just what she wanted for Christmas. To me, that was the best Christmas gift, I ever gave to myself!

Happy Holidays

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was an excellent day shared with friends – Bill, Sonny, JR, Ann and Marsha. We chatted, watched football, teased Sonny about his losing football bets and ate way too much food. JR left soon after dinner because he had to be at work early today. You see he works for Northwest Airlines loading/unloading baggage. With all the holiday travelers, the next few days are going to be very busy work days for him.

Ann is mom to Bill & JR and a very delightful lady. I spent most of the afternoon listening to Ann reminisce. Prior to her marriage, Ann was in the theater as a singer/actress. She told me of the days spent traveling to Boston, NY, San Francisco and Toronto with the touring productions of South Pacific and Oklahoma. How she had been an understudy (I’m not sure in which play) and had to fill in for 3 performances opposite Ray Bolger. Even after she left the theater and had started her family, Ray Bolger remembered her and invited her to his performances. She told me how she and her husband, John, had met when she toured with South Pacific. Apparently a mutual friend sent John a note saying if you would like to have a night of fun, look up Annie while she’s in town. Ann still has the note and has it in a frame. Listening to Ann’s stories reminded me of times past, listening to Memere talk of how she met Pepere. In her words, “she chased him until he finally caught her.”

Today marks the starts of the Holiday shopping season and also the start of the days, I stay as far from malls as possible. While I love shopping for Christmas gifts, I HATE MALLS!!! I prefer to find little shops and special gifts for family and friends. Although this year will be a very poor Christmas for me, I will still manage to find or bake gifts for people I care about. I have discovered the joys of on-line shopping and will probably do most of my shopping through the internet and catalogs.

While decorating for the season is nice, I may pass it up this year. You see, I chose to have a den instead of a 2nd bedroom and that leaves me with no furniture in my living room. I was hoping to have a job by now and new living room furniture. I don't see any sense in filling an empty room with Christmas decorations. Then again, maybe I will fill the whole room with nothing but Christmas decorations. Turn it into my own "Winter Wonderland".

Good or Bad?

Is it good or bad when an agency searches Monster.com, finds your resume and calls you. After spending 10 minutes or so, speaking with the person, you find out the job is the same job you interviewed for on Monday.

When I left the interview, I was told they would be making a decision that day and contacting the agency later in the afternoon. When I didn't hear from the agency by Tuesday afternoon, I sent an e-mail, only to find out the company was interviewing someone Tuesday afternoon.

Here it is Wednesday afternoon and I haven't heard any feedback about the interview. However, I get a phone call from another agency for the same job.

I told the 2nd agency we could always submit my resume over and over, leaving them the choice of me or me :)

When it rains....

This week started off fairly good. I woke Monday morning knowing I had a job interview in the afternoon. Going into the interview, I was also aware they had postponed making a decision on Friday, because I have Lotus Notes installations/troubleshooting experience. Apparently no other candidate had experience with Notes. That's a big plus for me.

So I get myself ready for the interview, climb into my car and start it up. Hmmmm brake and battery "idiots" decide to stay on. Not good! Knowing it's been cold outside, I thought maybe the car just needed to warm up a bit. Well after 5 minutes, the brake light was still on. Decision time, do I chance driving to Norwich, with my brake light on (I was aware I would need brakes soon but have been putting it off until I had a job offer) OR do I cancel the interview and get my car to my mechanic? Hoping I was just low on brake fluid I decided to go to the gas station and have the fluid checked. About a block from my house, the light went off. At that point I decided to chance the drive to Norwich knowing my parents weren't far away from the interview site if I need assistance.

The interview went great! When I left, the HR person said she would be in contact with the agency later in the afternoon and would want someone to start immediately. Knowing I needed to have my car checked out, I contacted the agency to find out "just how immediately" is immediate. Realizing it would be a few days, I called my mechanic to schedule an appointment for Tuesday morning.

Ahhh poor Serge, I told him about the idiot lights being on and left him with explicit instructions. "If you find anything else that should be fixed, unless it's a safety issue, DO NOT TOUCH IT!" Then I explained about being out of work for over a year and funds are running low.

Well, I knew I was in deep shit when Serge called, later in the morning, about my car. Front brakes were shot, rear brakes were leaking fluid --- ok, new brakes needed all around. That explains the brake light. Now the battery light was on because the battery wasn't charging properly. Apparently the belts were slipping because they were covered with power steering fluid that was spraying out of the power steering hub. Yep, I need a new power steering hub to go with the new brakes. Estimated total for all this -- $950!!!!

My sanity is clinging to small thread of hope that I get this job (or any job) before the bill comes in, at the end of the month. Being a "long term" customer, my mechanic bills me for repairs.

Is anyone having a better week? I could use some good news for a change.

I haven't had much to say lately so I thought I'd post a list of "one liners" recently sent to me. Need a chuckle -- then read on!


1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "Terminal"?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to
annoy for the rest of your life.

12.. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've
stayed alive.

14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
Miss America?

15. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

16. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

17. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick
that up, you don't know where it's been!"

If anyone has gone to my webpage, you've noticed I don't update it frequently. The photographs take up quite a bit of space and I keep running out of room. I shouldn't complain - it is free. The pictures also take time to load when viewing them. Because of these problems, I am in the process of moving my photographs to Webshots. People will have the ability to download pictures and/or order prints. Currently I have loaded the GGC2002 (Great Group Cruise) pictures and recent pictures from my "fall foliage" trek. Eventually I will remove most of the photographs from my webpage.

Today looks a little brighter (not outside) on the job prospects than it has recently. I have an interview with a temp agency this afternoon. Temping is not what I would like to do but $10/hr. is better than no income at all. Knowing quite a few companies hire their temps, is another reason for the interview.

After the interview I'll head up to J&G's (they still allow smoking!!) and meet up with Debbie. Hopefully toss back a few Margarita's, maybe have dinner and shock the regulars because I'll be dressed up.

I finally heard from the company I interviewed with about 3 weeks ago. Apparently they are also interviewing internally for the job opening and hope to reach a decision by the end of the week. Why they couldn't return my calls and tell me this before, I have no idea. What I did to finally get a response was to e-mail the hiring manager, he forwarded my e-mail to HR and they responded.

I give up!!!

I am no longer looking for a job. They just aren’t out there and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for a semi-decent job to come along. Then again, the jobs are out there – they just don’t want me. Don’t ask the reasons because I get the vaguest fucking answers when I try to find out – over qualified, under qualified, “not the right fit” give me a fucking break and TELL ME!!

Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job working 3rd shift. So far, I have called them twice and still have not gotten any response about the job status. My guess is that any day now, I will receive a “We think you can walk on water but hired someone else instead” letter. Now there’s a nice kick in the morale booster!

To make matters worse, mom calls every couple of days to ask about the job hunt. I know she means well but my patience is running in the negative. I’m ready to explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. I’m finding it difficult to control my anger when speaking with friends that mean well but have never been in this situation.

How many of you know just how demeaning it is to have 20+ years of experience and not be able to find work in your field? To know that every day you are out of work means your skills are one day closer to being obsolete. To have scrubbed toilets to pay bills (Yes! I did that for work while going to school) only to end up back in the same fucking place after 20 years. I just don’t have the energy, drive or even the will to start my life over.

E-mail from a friend, posted with his permission

Ian had returned from Beirut a short 4 1/2 months prior to the bombing.

Beriut Anniversary

Today is the 20th anniversary of the bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon.

On October 23rd 1983, at approximately 6:00 am, a truck laden with an estimated two tons of explosives and driven by a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group crashed past the Marine security guards on duty and through the front doors of the five story building nicknamed the "Beirut Hilton" on the Beirut International Airport and exploded. The blast killed 241 Marines and Navy Corpsman.

The Marine guards on duty had been instructed by their commanders to keep their weapons UNLOADED. I know one of them, and he will forever have nightmares of desperately fumbling with his magazine, trying to get it inserted into his M-16 so he could stop the attack. He saw the truck circling the parking lot, building up speed, and watched as it headed towards the building.

I also know several of the survivors (215 were pulled from the rubble), and one says that only a few men were awake and moving around... the vast majority were sound asleep in the first soft bed they had seen in months. (They normally slept in sandbagged bunkers that lined the perimeter of the airport.)

I lost a lot of friends that day... mothers lost their sons, wives lost their husbands, families lost members... and the nation lost alot of very good men.

Let's not forget, okay?

Ian Egan
Sgt. USMC
1979 - 1983

THE WEEK IN REVIEW

Last weekend, as most of you already know, was THE PITS! I won’t go into details because I don’t care to relive even the memory. Let’s just say, it was extremely depressing.

On Monday, a friend of mine, Wig, insisted I join him for lunch and drinks at J&G’s. Knowing I needed some major cheering up, J&G’s is the place for that to happen. Arriving about 11:30 AM, it was a bit too early for Margarita’s. I didn’t have my first drink until after I had eaten lunch. There was a new item listed on the lunch specials - Shepard’s Pie. You and I know how Shepard’s Pie is made - layer hamburg with a little gravy, then corn (or veggie of your choice) top with mashed potatoes and baked. They had all these ingredients but added a few of their own. First, they added, what I believe were chili spices to the hamburg. Second, there was no gravy, instead they had a tomato sauce over the top of the potatoes. Third, they topped the sauce with mozzarella. While I will say, lunch was edible, I won’t order it again. I think I need to have a talk with the owner’s and explain they should not be turning an English food into a Greek version of an Italian food.

Anyway, the afternoon was spent picking on JC, one of the regulars. How can you not pick on someone that tries to look as though he just stepped off the pages of GQ? “Taliban” Bobby is great for picking on people as well as just teasing. Bobby has done some strange things and got his nickname by coming out of the men’s room with a towel turban and dancing around the bar. All the horsing around, one-liners, and visuals (thanks to Bobby) made for an afternoon of laughs with occasional tears from laughing too hard. By the time I left J&G’s my depression was fading away. THANK YOU WIG!

Wednesday, I had a job interview with Retail Brand Alliance. This is the corporate office for a group of clothing stores. They own Casual Corner, August Max Woman, Petite Sophisticates and Brooks Brothers. I have a couple of friends, Lynn & Andrea, that work at RBA. Andrea had contacted me when she heard about the job opening in Computer Operations. When I told her I was definitely interested, she passed my resume on to the Supervisor. Anyway, when I arrived at RBA, whom do I see but Lynn, having a smoke. Seeing me in a skirt, was a bit of shock for her. She commented that she didn’t know I even owned of those. After a few minutes of chitchat and chuckles, I was off to the interview. The previous week’s major rejections, took its toll on me emotionally. Before going into the interview, decided I wasn’t going get my hopes up or speculate on how I felt about the interview. That didn’t last long. The interview went great. I’ve heard from Andrea, the manager was very impressed with my qualifications and me. He is now waiting for his boss to return from vacation, to get “things” moving along. Exactly what that mean, I don’t know. It could mean he is going to make me an offer or it could mean I need to go in for another interview or ….. I’m hoping to hear more this week.

Wednesday is also poetry night at Klekolo and it was my turn as host. The feature was Cynthia Peck. I decided to surprise people by remaining in my interview clothing. My normal Klekolo attire is jeans. The skirt must have scared them all away because I almost cancelled the reading due to a lack of poets. At 9:00 pm, only one poet had signed up for the open mic. Karl & Victoria showed up around 9:20 pm. That gave us two poets, a feature and me. Instead of having Cynthia feature, it was decided to just have an open mic with three poets and myself. It was a short night and by 10:30 pm, we were ordering drinks at Cornerstone’s.

Thursday, it was time to enjoy the beautiful day outside. With temperatures close to 80, I went for a ride, in search of fall foliage. My first stop was at Cynthia’s – she forgot her wallet at Cornerstone’s. Next, I just picked a road and drove until I decided to turn. I drove around for a few hours, admiring the scenery and hissing at the political signs that take root every autumn. Before I knew it, I was at the back entrance to Buckland Hills Mall. There were a couple of things I needed to pick up at Michael’s Crafts so I a made a quick stop and then headed home.

Friday, I was lazy and did nothing J Actually that’s not quite true, I repotted 3 plants and I hung a few pictures.

Here is it, Saturday, and I’m planning to head to my parents house this afternoon. I’ll bring along my camera and again, search for the perfect autumn foliage picture.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring…….

I wonder if any more protests are being planned?
Protesters Mourn Tech-job Drain

Attitude Adjustment Needed

It's a bitch when you know your attitude sucks but it's a valid attitude. People keep telling me "things will get better" and "it just takes time" and for over a year, I have believed them and hoped for those same things to be true. The fact is people, it's NOT getting better -- look at the unemployment figures, they aren't going down!!!

After 20+ years in IT, and being out of work for 13 months, I came to the realization, I will probably NEVER work in IT again. That translates to 20+ of experience means nothing! I have nothing to show for all of those years. I don't own a home, no retirement funds or no savings left, no benefits. My car is 7 years old, in need of a tune-up, tires and probably in need of brakes. People wonder why I have such a negative attitude. Try to imagine throwing 20 years of your life out the window and starting over, at the age of 46, with nothing! That is what I have been FORCED to do. It's terrifying!!

How do I start over? I don't have a clue!! I do know, the first thing is to find a job - any job, with benefits!! Hopefully one of the benefits will be tuition reimbursement. Then I will have the ability to go back to school and be retrained. There are certain jobs I would like to do, but I don't know if I have the time, money or even the energy left to explore those options. Most IT jobs seem to be moving to foreign countries. I will not consider training for anything in IT, even though I enjoy the work.

While working at Wiremold, I had taken a "Professional Skills and Assessment" test. Scoring high in artistic and nurturing categories the following careers paths were suggested - Childcare, Culinary Arts, Teaching, Nursing. Who knows, maybe I can teach children how to cook? What I do know is that is that any choice will be a long, hard process rebuild. My only choice is to "just do it" or work at a mindless job until I am forced into retirement or drop dead.

I know everyone means well when they tell me to "look on the bright side" and "things will get better". Look at what have left for choices and tell me HONESTLY that you would not have the same "I was fucked over again" attitude.

You think your day was bad.....

Saying I am not having a good day would be an understatement. I've been out of work for over a year and had TWO very promising job interviews recently. Today I received rejections for BOTH of those jobs. Unemployment has run out and I have maybe $5,000 dollars left to my name. At the age of 46, I have NO medical insurance, NO retirement, NO savings, NO job prospects and NO great "love of my life". Needless to say, my first drink was poured about fours hours ago and my opinion is that "LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!"

"National Bernie Rejection Day!"

Take your best shot at me! After TWO very promising job interviews. I had TWO job rejections in one fucking day, take your best shot at me. Fair warning to all --- don't be surprised if I shoot back!

We've lost another great star :( Donald O'Conner

Cafe Downtown

Tonight I went to Cafe Downtown and listened to some great music. Pete Serge opened for Perfect Silence tonight. I won't bother to tell you Pete was great (he'll do that :) ) Tonight was the first feature gig for Perfect Silence and they were fabulous! Hopefully I managed to get some great pics. After I left, I realized I should have asked Pete, Dan and Sarah to pose for a few shots together, oh well, I try to remember next time.

ADD perhaps?

Media Not Paying Attention

I have finally made it to THE END!!!

DWP – 9/21/03 Write about a daydream

Admit it, we all daydream. I would even wager we have one daydream in common – to hit it big in the lottery. Having been out of work for more than a year, I believe I have perfected this daydream. Yes, the normal, pay off all the bills, monetary gifts to family and close friends would be done. My daydream has added some extras to normal

I have many friends on-line and we cruise (on cruise ships) together. Over the years, a handful of friends have become very close. Our love of cruising brought us together but sharing our daily lives, made us friends. Quite a few of my friends read my blog entries and know these people. I will not name my friends, fearing I will forget to mention someone and cause hurt feelings. To thank my friends for being there for me, during good and bad times, I would take them on a cruise. I have not chosen the ports of call, they do not matter. I do know it will be on a Carnival ship – we love having fun on Carnival. Friends would receive first class airfare and/or limousine service to a luxury hotel, near the embarkation port. The night before embarkation would be spent with our usual “Meet & Greet”, fully catered with open bar. I would pick up all hotel charges, including meals and arrange for limousine service to and from the cruise ship.

If my friends compare their cruise documents, they will discover everyone has a Cat. 12 Suites. This will give us one major benefit – priority boarding and personal escorts through the long lines and directly to our suites. Once on board the ship, all bar tabs would be mine to pick up. No one will be driving that week except the ship’s captain. Now, he can join in our fun, but only if it turns the keys over to his second in command. Cruising with a large group, we rarely are able to dine together on formal night. Therefore, I would arrange one formal night for all my friends in the supper club. I am sure I can dream of more ways to thank my friends while on the ship. Sharing this information, lets them know how much I appreciate them and enjoy their company.

Of course, I can’t neglect the items I would purchase for myself after winning the lottery. I long to build a dream home on the northern coast of Maine. As I mentioned earlier, I have been out of work for over a year. This has given me plenty of time to daydream on the Internet. You see, I have had time to locate the plans for my dream home. There would be some modifications made to the plans. The most important changes would be an indoor heated swimming pool and a fireplace in the master bedroom. The “bonus room” would become a recreational area with pool table, sound system and bar.

With my love of cruising, you are probably wondering why I chose Maine instead of the Caribbean, for a dream home. I happen to love 3 out of 4 seasons. You can probably guess which season I do not like. Therefore, I intend to also purchase a custom built yacht and hire a full crew. My winters will be spent going from island to island in the Caribbean. Again, I have had plenty of time to search the Internet and I “think” this custom built yacht would work nicely for me. I would change the interior décor, since it is not to my taste in decor. Friends and family are more than welcomed to cruise with me. When the yacht is not in use, I might be coaxed into loaning it out to certain people.

You can see, I have spent a considerable amount of time daydreaming about winning it big in the lottery. Ahhhhh to dream……

Autumn

I love days like today, sunny with just a little nip in the air. The leaves are beginning to change colors. In a few short weeks, the hillsides will be dotted in shades of yellow, orange, red and green. These are the days; I love to take long rides in the country, browsing antique shops, orchards, and search for the perfect Jack-o-lantern pumpkin or simply laze by a stream.

It would be nice to share these rides with someone special, maybe take along a picnic lunch. One of my favorite stops is a state park in eastern Connecticut called Devil’s Hopyard. People rarely use the picnic areas, they are too busy walking the trails and viewing Chapman Falls. During past visits I have taken a few excellent (IMHO) pictures of Devil’s Hopyard, with the falls and stream covered with snow and ice. Although the pictures are in color, they appear almost black and white. Maybe this will be the year I get those great pictures of the fall foliage.

To me, Devil’s Hopyard is the perfect place for an autumn picnic. Since I’ll probably be there alone, it’s also a great place to quietly sit alongside the stream read a book, write, or simply become lost in daydreams.

AOL Survey

This is a survey being done on AOL. Granted, this isn't a valid method of polling people but I think the results still speak loudly!


In retrospect, what do you think of Bush's case for war?

48% He deliberately misled the public 51,131
30% It was completely legitimate 31,688
22% He may have stretched a little, but the overall reasoning was sound 23,384

Total votes: 106,203

Another sad day

Sheb Wooley, most noted for "Purple People Eater" passed away on 9/17.

Religious Solicitors

It appears my neighborhood is in need of "religious salvation". Almost every weekend, since moving in, someone has tried to "save my soul". Normally I am a non-violent, polite person. However, it's getting to a point where these people are going to be threatened if they knock on my door again. I have seriously thought of posting a sign stating "Religious solicitors will be shot upon knocking." Somehow I think that sign wouldn't be appreciated by the police department.

I have tried being polite, saying "no thank you" and closing my door. I have tried, not answering my door (they just come back later). Once in a prior apartment, they have actually had their children look in windows to see if someone was home. I wasn't very nice to those people, nor to their children.

Does anyone have suggestions for a way to "legally" stop these people?

Pirate Profile:

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

More lies exposed!

US team finds no smallpox in Iraq

Now the "shrub" finally admits Saddam was not involved in the 9/11 attacks, only that Saddam has "al-qaida ties". Any bets on how long before he says he never claimed there were WMD's in Iraq?

badbinky2 in five years

Occupation: Calendar Designer

Prized possession: A death-dealing coin-collection.

Favourite film: Harry Potter and the Flowers of Thriftiness

Age difference: One month older due to time travel.

LiveJournal Blurty Neither Fully coded by ianiceboy

Uninvited Wedding Guest

I don't envy this couple!!

Enough Procrastinating!

I have been procrasting way too much recently. There are boxes still stacked in my living room which MUST be unpacked or moved into storage. Therefore, I am grounding myself! My computer will be turned off, daily, until a minimum of 1/3 of the boxes (each day) has been eliminated from the living room.

DWP 9/16/03 Write about something you would do differently.

Ah, if I could live my life over. It is great to dream about changing our past. That is all it is, a dream. You see, your past is what has made you the person you are today. Every minor choice, every turn in the road is what brought you here. One minor change can have a major lasting effect on who you are today, even if you would still be here.

There was a Star Trek episode where the Enterprise returned to Earth but in the early 20th century. Captain Kirk, Spock and Dr. McCoy beamed down to Earth. While there for only a few minutes, they changed history and there was no Enterprise orbiting the Earth to beam them up. They simply pushed a woman out of the road, saving her from being hit by a car. This same thing would happen if we made changes to our past. To re-write our past, would be to also re-write the world’s history.

Of course now it is time for me to dream about the effects of changing my past. There is only one change I would make – not to marry my ex-husband, Charlie. If I were to make this one change, I know I would not be the person I am today. I would have missed a major change in my life, had it not been for this marriage. That change, I grew as a person, and became emotionally strong enough to leave him. It taught me about myself and to lower tolerance for verbal and mental abuse. I learned to stand up for myself, even when terrified of the possible outcome. It taught me be very wary of the person that says, “I love you” but not how to stop my heart from loving them.

I cannot fathom of how my life would have been different without Charlie. Who knows if I would have met and married my “soul mate”? Who knows if I would have had the family I always wanted? Who knows if I would be financially secure? Who knows if I would have found the same kind of person, married and been physically abused? Who knows if I would be a cynical old bitch, simply because I never found love?

My world would definitely be different today, had I not married Charlie. Would it be better? I certainly hope so, but I don’t believe it would be better, just different. I know it would not be perfect; there will always be something that could have been done differently. Thanks but I think I will keep MY past, I know the outcome.

WTG Dave Barry!!!

"Barry Turns Tables on Telemarketers"

DWP - Write about a fragrance

Have you ever noticed how a scent triggers memories? My favorite floral scent is Lilac and the scent always brings a smile to my face. In Old Town, Maine, we had several lilac bushes in our front yard. The bushes had grown together and created a sheltered area, just large enough for a little girl to play house, with her dolls and cat. I would spend hours in my make believe world. Stone tables held make believe meals, created with dandelions, clovers, grass and of course, lilacs. The food may not have been edible but it did look pretty. I was “mommy” to my dolls and dressed Tiger, my cat, in doll clothes. Tiger was the best pet any child could have. He would let me dress him in doll clothes then walk him up and down the street in my doll carriage. He just lay there, enjoying all the attention. In the spring, I had the prettiest house with the lilacs in full bloom. Now I gather lilacs, breathe in their scent, and recall innocent days of childhood. When I had no concept of time, work, and responsibilities… just my imagination running free.

Investigation Continues!

Police: Man Illegally Videotaped Juvenile
August 28, 2003
By TRACY GORDON FOX, Courant Staff Writer

A former Colchester resident has been arrested and charged a second time with illegally videotaping a female, this time a juvenile, in his home without her knowledge, state police said.

Ronald A. LaMontagne, 43, who had lived in the Westchester section of Colchester, was charged with one count of voyeurism and one count of risk of injury to a minor, police said Wednesday.

LaMontagne had been out on bond and living at 19 Sherburne Ave. in Worcester, Mass., since his initial arrest in May on two counts of voyeurism and 20 counts of disseminating voyeuristic material to Internet users throughout the country and as far away as Algeria, police said.

Wednesday was the first charge involving a minor, and police say they are looking for other possible victims.

Detectives began investigating LaMontagne in May after they received a complaint from a woman who said LaMontagne might have videotaped her. Investigators found that clock radios in his home housed pinhole cameras connected to surveillance equipment that could record images from 100 feet away. Videocassette recorders in his bedroom were set up to make copies, police said.

Police said they believed that LaMontagne secretly filmed at least four women in their 20s, then disseminated the tapes to Washington, Illinois, Oklahoma and Texas.

The most recent case was the result of a follow-up investigation after LaMontagne's arrest in May, police said. Detectives identified a teenager whose image was recorded without her knowledge and contained on a videotape seized during a search of LaMontagne's former home.

LaMontagne turned himself in to state police Wednesday and was held with bail set at $100,000, police said.

Detectives are asking anyone who is a female friend, associate, co-worker or past renter of LaMontagne's property in Colchester, or who worked with him, to call the state police Eastern District Major Crime Squad at the Colchester barracks at 860-537-7500.

Gas Prices

I've put it off as long as possible but today I MUST put gas in my car. This will be the first time, I've filled up since the prices soared. Hoping the oil companies really meant this was only a temporary price hike, I have waited until the tank is on E before putting in gas.

Can someone PLEASE explain to me, exactly what the fuck a power outage and a broken pipe in the southwest, has to do with the price of gasoline?!?!?!? Am I too dumb to understand or too smart to believe the reasons, that are being shoved our throats?

DWP - A December Memory....

My Christmas Tree 2001

Spending my first Christmas in an apartment with 16' ceilings, my eyes were bigger than my strength when I picked out a 9 ft Christmas tree. Needing assistance to move this monstrosity, Marsha came over and we managed to get it leaning up against my car only to stand there and wonder "How the hell are we getting that into the building, down the hall, into the elevator, up to the third floor, down another hall and into the apartment?" It had only taken us about 15 minutes to get the tree standing and not without incident. Marsha got in the way and was pinned against the car. I stood there; arms and legs spread wide and told her to lean the tree towards me so she could get out. We tried to stand it in a cart that I have but the wheels kept moving away from us. At one point we lifted the base of the tree, only to stand and stare at the cart that needed to be pushed UNDER the tree! Well a very nice neighbor, Erin, asked if we needed help. At that point we had a "Three Stooges" thing oing on just trying to get it from my car to the building! With his help we managed to lay the tree across the cart and get it to the door. At which point I was pinned between the door and the tree and there was a staircase in our way! Erin suggested that he "attempt" to drag the tree up 3 flights of stairs (yeah right!) but I couldn't let him do that. He had already been a big help and I was afraid he would hurt himself. Anyway, we moved the tree and leaned against a fence outside. Silly Erin thought someone might steal the tree. I reminded him it took 3 of us and about 20 minutes to get it across the parking lot! I decided to call the building manager in the morning and ask if the maintenance guys can bring it in. If they couldn't I would leave it where it is, decorate with suet, bird seeds and corn cobs and let the critters enjoy my tree as my neighbors laugh at the fool on the third floor.

The maintenance guys DID move my tree inside and sort of managed to get it standing. It was in the tree stand but leaning against the wall. According the Jessica, the building manager, they muttered 4-
letter words that she had never heard before. All Greg kept saying is "That's one hell of a BIG tree!" I owe the guys BIG TIME for getting the tree up here. I think a large bottle of "whatever" and homemade Banana Bread should get me back in their good graces again.

Now the task of decorating the tree is at hand! I started with the lights and ran out about 1/3 of the way down the tree. While I was putting the lights on, I realized I couldn't put the Angel on top, only because I can't reach the top. Anyway, the next day on my lunch break I ran out to buy 1000 lights. Have you ever tried to buy white lights the week before Christmas? Don't bother - it's impossible! I was standing in the store and mulling over the possibilities - Green,Purple, Yellow, Pink and Blue. Then I remembered how many lights I needed and that narrowed the choice down considerably -- Green or Pink. So, I have 1000 Pink lights to twinkle on my tree (thank God they aren't flashing!).

I get home and take down the white lights I painstakingly put on the night before and start with the pink lights. Having gone through this the previous night, I concluded it would be easiest to divided the tree in 1/3 strips to put the lights on.

My tree now fully decorated tree, aglow in pink lights still lacking a treetop. My angel would never be seen on top of my tree -- if I could get it there. I amusingly chuckled to myself the perfect top would be a pink flamingo lawn ornament.

I had been telling my co-workers and a few members of a cruisers group, each day about this weird tree and shared my private chuckles with them as well. When I got to work Thursday, a co-worker, walked up to me with a very sly grin and handed me a pink flamingo lawn ornament!!!! You got it! I now have a pink flamingo nesting atop my Christmas tree!!!! I have also been forewarned to expect packages from fellow cruisers Ermalee, Becca and Lori. I'm sort of afraid to open them but I will proudly display whatever it is, on the weirdest, biggest and funniest Christmas tree I have ever owned!!!

Oh and just for "ha-ha's" I took out my tape measure and couldn't believe my eyes. I actually thought I was buying about a 9 ft. tree -- try it's 10 ft and leaning!!! If it were standing straight it would probably be closer to 12 ft. high!!!!!!!!! I've already decided the tree will be leaving here in pieces --- probably branch by branch with the help of Dad's hacksaw.

Well the packages from Ermalee, Becca and Lori all arrived and I cautiously opened them. You never know what these people would send through the mail! To my surprise, I now have a "Flamingo Beanie
Family" in my tree with several beautiful ornaments. As strange as this tree looks, I must say, it is one of the prettiest trees I've seen.

To answer the big question – How did I get the tree out of my apartment – it was in pieces!! I borrowed a hack saw from my Dad with the promise to not remove any of my limbs. After removing all
the decorations and carefully packing them away, I proceeded to de-branch the tree! Starting at the bottom, I sawed of branches and stuffed them in large plastic trash bags, to be carried outside to
the dumpster. I have no idea how many bags I filled but I had the tree about 2/3's stripped before I attempted to cut off the top and carry that down the stairs. While dragging it out the door another
tenant saw me and commented on what a beautiful little tree that must have been. All I could do was laugh and let them know I was dragging out just the TOP of the tree!!

I usually have a difficult time thinking of what to write in my blog on a daily basis. Victoria mentioned a Yahoo! Group called DailyWritingPrompt and they send out a topic daily. I decided to join and see what I can come up with for writing.


My mother once told me ….

When you grow up related to half the population of a small town, you have no fear of strangers – they are just your relatives. Our street, a dead end street, had about a dozen houses. One house was ours and four others were relatives. Two of these houses were my grandparents, Memere & Pepere lived at the bottom of the hill, Grammy & Grampy lived across the street at the top of the hill. At less than 5 years of age, I would frequently “visit” my relatives, of course, never telling Mom I was leaving the yard. Mom managed to solve the problem by creating a harness/leash and tying me to the fence in the yard.

The leash worked great at keeping me in the yard, while at home. The problems came in when we would visit my grandparents. When we visited Memere, I would run to the top of the hill and visit Grammy. While visiting Grammy, I ran to the bottom of the hill to visit Memere. Stubborn child that I was, I insisted on visiting where ever my Mom was not visiting.

After several weeks my Mom finally caught me running up the hill to visit Grammy and proceeded to lecture me about the dangers of the world. Her very understandable instructions were “When I’m at the top of the hill, you are not to run to the bottom of the hill. When I’m at the bottom of the hill, you are not to run to the top of the hill.” Wanting to be certain I understood exactly what she was saying, she asked me to repeat her instruction, which I did. She then asked “What are you going to do the next time.” With a very straight-laced face, I told her I would walk. Even at that tender age, I was a smart-ass. After all, she didn’t mention walking, just that I couldn’t run up and down the hill.

Mom, chuckled the whole time she told me of this incident. When I came out with my reply, all she could do at that time, was turn around and laugh. That was when she realized, I was going to take after her side of the family – a family of quick-witted practical jokers.

My Bloginality is INFJ!!!

The Interview Game

My questions came from Subversity


The rules of the Interview Game ...

- Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
- I'll reply and give you five questions to answer.
- You'll update your web-log with the five questions answered.
- You'll include this explanation.
- You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. And it just keeps going, and going, and going.

Here are your five questions ...

1. What's the best gift you've ever received?
I sit here pondering this question simply because I’ve received many excellent gifts over the years. Now that I’ve mentally inventoried all the gifts I have been given, one gift stands out as the best anyone could ever give or receive but is not sold in any store – the gift of life.

2. What's your favorite book of all time?
This one is easy – The Stand by Stephen King. I’ve read the original twice and
the unabridged version once. Until the good vs. evil came into the story line, the book was too close to what can happen in reality!

3. Name something you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for.
I can’t say I didn’t have “time” for anything I have wanted to do. If there is something I really want to do, I’ll make the time. It’s usually needing funds that will keep me from doing things. I would love to travel more frequently, go to school for culinary arts, learn to pilot a plane. While I have the time for these things, they also require money.

4. If you could change something about yourself what would it be?
My shoe size! I have BIG feet!!! Of course, if my feet were smaller, they would look out of proportion and probably not support my large bone structure. However, it would be so nice to be able to walk into any shoe department and find shoes in my size. To date, there are only two stores where I can buy shoes. One has a small selection of inexpensive shoes. The other is a specialty shoe store, with a large selection and high prices to match.

5. Tell us something about you that would surprise us.
I read these questions Friday morning before leaving for Ohio. This was the one question that stayed in my mind all weekend! There are things that would surprise some people but not all people. Probably the only thing that would surprise everyone is knowing I have gone into a bar and ordered a glass of milk!! As I recall it, this even surprised the bartender!!!! What can I say, I just didn’t feel like drinking that night. Now has everyone recovered from that shock? Well if not, prepare yourself for the next shock, in high school I was know as “sweet and innocent”. My first look at a Playgirl magazine was with my hands over my eyes.

The Pope
Circle I Limbo

Greens
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Bill Clinton
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Libertarians
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Democrats
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Republicans, Uday Hussein, Qusay Hussein
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Osama bin Laden
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Bush needs a reality check! Unemployment in CT is NOT down!!! Check out this news story on unemployment in CT from CTNOW.COM I was laid off 8/30/02 and I am still searching for a job. Of course, when I was searching out of state, unemployment was a problem nationwide and no one was hiring. Now I have a new apartment with a 1-yr. lease and it appears CT's economic recovery is going in the opposite direction.

Loving someone hurts too much to ever fall for it again! Someone always gets hurts and I'm tired of being the one crying.

Pledge of Allegiance Rant!

Recently my mailbox was inundated with e-mails insisting the Pledge of Allegiance wording "under God" should remain and boycotting companies that refuse recognize this wording. Since I refuse to inflict my beliefs upon friends and family, I thought a response in my Blog would be a more appropriate venue for voicing my opinions.

While listening to the news one day, I heard the ORIGINAL, Pledge of Allegiance. What we recite today is not the original pledge. I searched and found a history of the Pledge of Allegiance . The words "under God" were added to the pledge in 1954 when the Knights of Columbus (a Roman Catholic organization) campaigned to create a combination pledge AND public prayer.

I was raised in a devout Roman Catholic home, complete with enrollment in Roman Catholic schools. As a non-practicing Roman Catholic, I do not believe the words "under God" belong in ANY government documents. Whatever happened to the separation of Church and State? Then again, as a Roman Catholic we are taught our allegiance is to God. So why are we pledging to a flag? In my opinion that is no different than worshiping a golden calf.

One reason settlers came to the “new world” was religious persecution. What right do we have to force others to pray to a God they may not believe exists? Not everyone believes in the same God, or even in a God. This is a case where “majority” does not rule but the premise for which this country was founded DOES rule. That premise is RELIGIOUS FREEDOM. I, for one, will not force others into adhering to MY religious beliefs!

As for the flood of e-mails, I will not respond to each. However, I will respond with a link to my Blog. If friends and family do not care for my opinions, then they should not force theirs upon anyone else.

I'm finally all moved into the new apartment and very slowly getting things unpacked. Saturday, I went shopping for a new bed. Now I'm waiting for it to be delivered and set up today.

While out and about saturday, I was looking for matching shower and window curtains. I have come to the conclusion they are a figment of my imagination! At Walmart, I decided to settle on a pleated shade with a burgundy valance that will match my current shower curtain. Now Walmart is not on my list of favorite stores, I shop there ONLY as a last resort! Saturday's experience reminded me why I hate this store!! First, there were no shopping carts available. The store was crowded but the employees had atleast 50 carts tied up with merchandise they were moving around. My philosphy is, if you want me to buy items, provide a cart so I can carry them! Second, were the screaming kids running rampant in the store. Parents, watch your kids, not everyone thinks they are adorable. Third, inconsiderate shoppers blocking aisles, cutting you off without so much as an "excuse me". Fourth, when I went into the store, my patience was almost non-existent. By the time I reached the checkout lines, waited for 10 minutes and the line still had not moved, my patience left completely. I threw my hands up, said "Fuck it", leaving my cart, in line, I walked out of the store - empty handed! I could understand if this was the first time I had this experience at Walmart, but it's not! Every time I have gone into this store, I have the same problems. Are all Walmarts like this?!?!?! This particular store is located next to Buckland Hills Mall. The area department stores (Ames, KMart, Bradlees) have all closed because of losing business to Walmart. The only deparment store left is a KMart in a neighboring town. Yes, I went to that KMart and from the looks of their shelves, they won't be around much longer.

You know that nice hot bubble bath I was looking forward to? Well it didn't happen!!! I discovered there is no plug for the tub! So, I was going to use the handheld shower head and at least get clean. Imagine my shock when I discovered I also have no HOT water!!!

For dinner, I am making a VERY STONG Margarita, curl up in front of the TV and call it night already!!!

How Not To Move

1. Do not get up at 5:00 AM to be ready for movers at 8:00 AM. They rarely show up on time!

2. Do not have your phone disconnected until the day AFTER your move!!!

3. When scheduling a move for 8:00 AM, expect the movers to show up between 9:00 - 10:00 AM. If they haven't show up by 10:00 AM, CALL THEM, unless you don't have a phone handy. In that case, knock on doors until you do find a working phone.

4. When calling the movers, make sure they have a phone number to return your call after they find the dispatcher (he was unloading MY truck). Of course, it didn't make any difference, but atleast I knew WHY they were late. Apparently a house closing fell through on friday and they couldn't unload the truck until Monday morning.

5. When the movers finally arrive at 2:00 PM, and there are only TWO guys, instead of FOUR -- JUMP, SCREAM, THROW A TEMPER TANTRUM -- anything until you get the four people you are paying to move you!! Your hourly rate does not decrease simply because they sent you 1/2 the manpower.

6. It takes two men (hustling their butts) 3.0 HOURS to move 4 rooms, 150 yds. to the elevator, 2.5 to 3 rooms down the elevator and another 100 yds. to the truck! Finally four more guys show up and it takes 6 men, 1.0 hrs to move 1 room down the elevator and the 100 yds. to the truck. Finally it takes 1.5 hrs for 6 men to move 4 rooms, 30 ft. from the truck into the new apartment!

For those of you doing the math, the move STARTED at 2:00 PM and ended about 10:00 PM!!!

Needless to say, I was exhausted by the time they finished! I had cleaned as much of the apartment as possible, while they were moving furniture and boxes. After finding shower curtains and hanging them over the windows in the bathroom and den, I called it quits for the night. Located my pillows and blanket and fell onto the futon mattress. Well, being exhausted still doesn't turn off the ears when sleeping in a new apartment for the first time. I woke with every little squeak last night.

About 6:00 AM, I crawled out of bed and started the coffee brewing (yes, I KNEW where that was!). While having my coffee, I got my computer and TV set up and ready for the cable guy (no, not Jim Carey) arrive this afternoon. At 8:30 or so, I was back out the door and ready to finish cleaning the old apartment and bring Smokey (the kitty) to the new apartment. Today was spent washing walls, floors, cabinets, breaking down and trashing unused boxes, loading the car with all the cleaning stuff I needed for today and the kitty! I got back to the new apartment about 2:30 PM and I have been very slowly locating needed items for bathroom, kitchen etc.

The cable guy showed up about 3:15 (YIPPEE) and got everything set up for my TV and internet. It's now after 6:00 and I think I have earned a nice long soak in a hot bubble bath!!!

Move II

Move II

In less than 24 hrs. Manchester Moving & Storage will empty one apartment and fill another! Currently, my waterbed is in the process of draining :( I wish I could say I had peaceful sleep on my waterbed one last time but I didn't. My wrist (carpal tunnel) was hurting when I went to sleep and my neck hurt when I woke up. I'm getting too old (no comments!) to keep changing apartments.

Marsha & Becky stopped by yesterday to help pack up the kitchen. Even after tossing out items I don't use, I STILL had 4 very large boxes filled with dinnerware, stemware, baking pans, platters and pots. There is one box just for kitchen utensil and cutlery!! Looking at those boxes someone might get the idea, I like to cook and love kitchen items. I'm probably one of the few women that would drool over getting a gift like a microwave or toaster oven...

When Marsha & Becky left, so did Binky. I haven't heard from Marsha yet, but I do hope Binky is adjusting to her new home. We know Binky will hide for atleast a couple of days, only coming out for food and litter box. She probably did a little exploring last night, while Marsha was sleeping.

Debbie called yesterday with good news for me. Demitasse has a home!!!! Debbie's neighbor has a pet sitting service and also a cat. At the moment, she is puppy sitting a Golden Retriever, in her home, otherwise Marhsa would have dropped Demi off last night. Instead, Debbie will pick up Demi later today.

Hey Victoria, I've found a great diet and exercise program --- MOVING! In the last 2 weeks, I've lost 10 lbs. without trying. Of course, it will probably find me as soon as I'm done moving.

Well, I'm back to finishing up the packing while the bed is draining. The more I have packed, the more the movers will move and the less I have to move in my car!!!

The Move!

So much is going on with my move that I don't know where to start. My packing is still not complete (I hate moving). Yesterday I signed the lease and picked up the keys. For the security deposit, I needed a bank check. While I was at the bank, the teller needed my driver's license. When she handed it back, she asked if I knew my lic. had expired two months ago. I thought my renewal was in 2004 and DMV never notified me that it was up for renewal this year!! Oh well, add another item to my "To Do" list but it won't get done until after I move!!

While looking over the lease, I noticed in big letters "NO WATERBEDS". Before my landlord bought the apartments, there had been a problem with termites. The termites are gone and the building is sound but he doesn't want to chance the weight of the bed. He hasn't had the time/funds to replace the hardwood floors. He didn't think to mention it before (not a lot of people have waterbeds) and it never crossed my mind when looking at the apartment. Next week, I get go buy a box spring, mattress and frame. Oooo I just realized I need to buy sheets as well. You see, for the waterbed, I bought only flat sheets, they work much better than waterbed fitted sheets.

On a slightly happier note, my new landlord felt bad that I have to go out and buy a new bed. He agreed to let me bring Smokey & Demi to the new place until I can find homes for them. I still need homes for two kitties!!!! Both cats are extremely affectionate and love anyone that gives them food or plays with them.

Smokey
Spayed female, age 13/14?, tortoise shell/tiger cross, double paws in front, likes to have her belly rubbed, always hungry and very talkative.

Demitasse (aka Demi)
Spayed female, age 9/10?, grey/white/orange calico, very affectionate, likes to sleep on top of someone,
loves having her ears scratched.

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Pete :)

This weekend, as with every weekend since meeting Pete, was fabulous! Friday night, we went to Cafe Downtown in Willimantic, where I got to listen to Pete perform at an open mic. I can't begin to describe how I felt while he was singing except to say, eat your heart out ladies because his backpack is in my apartment!

While Pete was recording on saturday, I went to visit my parents to pick up a small water pump for my waterbed and empty boxes! I visited with my parents then drove to Darryl & Debbies (brother and sister-in-law) to get more empty boxes. Now I need to bring everything inside and FILL those boxes! Needless to say, I did no packing this weekend :)

We went for a drive in the country sunday afternoon and Pete played the demo CD from saturday's recording session. It sounds great!!! I can't wait to hear the final mixes for the CD.

NEWS FLASH!!!

I’m moving – again! Yes, folks I’m moving to a smaller and less expensive apartment not far from my current location. It’s a ranch-style duplex with work-in kitchen, dining room, living room, 2 bedrooms, ½ cellar and washer/dryer hookups. God, how I’ve missed my washer & dryer these last two years!!! This afternoon, I arranged for the movers to be here on July 28th and will be in the new place that night.

On a very sad note, I can’t take my kitties with me L If anyone you know, would like one or all three cats, let me know!!! I need to find good homes for them before I move. All 3 cats are indoor cats, females, spayed and have had their shots. Smokey & Demitasse are very friendly and cuddly to anyone that feeds them and/or scratches ears and rubs tummies. Binky is also very affectionate but she’s afraid of strangers and hides from them. She does come out of hiding when she feels “safe” around the person but it would take a couple of days for her to feel safe.

Famingos

This past weekend was spent in "party mode". Dinner out friday night to celebrate Karl's birthday. Saturday was the big 5-0 celebration for Victoria. A few weeks back Karl had posted pick flamingos on his blog and it's been a running joke ever since. For Karl's birthday gift, I searched way too many stores, and finally found the "original" pink lawn flamingos for him. I also bought two strings of pink flamingo lights, for Victoria's birthday party and we hung them on the porch.

While at the party several people asked how I became obsessed with Pink Flamingos. Several years back people in the "elite" cruising groups kept insisting Carnival cruisers are nothing more than "trailer trash". Carnival being the KMart of cruise lines. Well, I and many cruising friends, are big Carnival fans so we made light of it as well. I don't mean to offend anyone but pink flamingos are to many of us, one tackiest lawn ornaments around. A good friend, Arline, has swamp land for sale in FL where we hope to build our "Carnival Retirement Village" (CRV for short). I've already been promised statues of St. Patrick at all CRV entrances to keep away snakes (ewwww). Pink flamingos on every lawn will be mandatory. The high ground will cost more and have the greenest lawn, simply because it will be over the septic system. I'm certain you all get the idea of what the vision is for the CRV. That's where my obsession started.

Now to understand WHY I happen to own 4 pink flamingo beanie babies and one lawn ornament, you'll need to go to my web page. I purchased none of these flamingos. The beanies were all given to my by cruising friends!! The lawn ornament came from a co-worker at Internation Paper.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARL!!!

Today one of my "best buddies" subversity turns 41! Stop by and wish him a Happy Birthday. At the moment, flamingos are flocking to his blog and leaving their droppings in birthday wishes.

What would you do with $250 MILLION? Well that is the jackpot in tonight's Powerball drawing and I have my tickets. Aside from the obvious of hiring a financial advisor, I know I would set up trust funds for my nieces and nephews. Give some to my parents and brothers. I'd also be very nice to my friends (yes, I KNOW who they are). Since I'm currently renting an apartment, I would buy land, probably on the coast of Northern Maine, and build a house --- a very very large house. My love of cruising would be enjoyed thoroughly on a custom build yacht, complete with captain, crew, chef and waitstaff. Oh yeah, I'd probably charter a Carnival cruise ship for all of my friends to party on for a week!!!!

So, what would YOU doo with that kind of money?!?!?!

Ok, I’m being harassed into telling about a very special someone that has come into my life recently. I don’t like to “kiss and tell” so I won’t put Pete on the hot seat by naming names and telling all. Let’s just say there is a big smile on my face that was put there last Wednesday and has grown steadily since then!! We’re enjoying each others company and taking it as slow as our hearts will allow.

Something special for my friends. As you know, July is National Eye Care month. Do yourself a favor, and take this simple vision test - an early test for cataracts - simple to do and it's actually fun to take!! Remember, cataracts know no age boundary; young and old can have this "preventable" eye disease.  

All I can say is this is turning out to be one hell of a fantastic 4th of July with LOTS of fireworks. A certain someone has put a big smile on my face.

Ahhh today’s job interview that never happened. That’s right it never happened!! You see, at some point you MUST open your eyes to all the things keeping you from doing something. It took me awhile and ¼ tank of gas but I finally surrendered to the “powers that be” and returned home.

My alarm was set for 6:00 am, but I had difficulty getting to sleep. Let’s just say a “certain someone” was on my mind, so I reset the alarm for 7:00 am. My cat, Smokey, being true to form, woke me before the alarm went off. Anyway, I dragged my exhausted butt out of bed, fed the cats, had coffee and got ready for my interview. According to Yahoo directions, it would take a little more than 1 hour to reach West Warren, MA, I gave myself 2 hours and included at stop at the bank and gas station. While at the gas station (full service) the owner decided he was in a “chatty” mood today. Now I go to this station all the time and he’s pleasant but never chatty. Today, I got to hear about his arthritis, foot surgery, broken back, allergies… well you get the picture. Being nice, I listened then told him I must be going since it was getting late and I had a job interview. Finally I’m one the road and still have 90 minutes to make it to the interview.

Having a “lead foot” I needed to be cautious on the highway because of the Holiday tomorrow, police are out in force today. I’m driving up Rt. 32, admiring the beautiful scenery and looking for a McDonald’s, BK “clean” gas station – yep, I needed the facilities! All along I’m watching the clock in my car clock tick off the minutes. At last I can’t wait any longer and pull into the first gas station I see. As luck would have it, they don’t have restroom!!!! The attendant asked where I was going, I told her I was heading North on Rt. 32, to West Warren (remember this information). She said, no problem, right after I turn on to RT. 67 there is an Xtra-Mart that has restrooms. I thanked her and went on my way. Well, I headed out on Rt. 32N and continued on. Relief was in sight! Another gas station, hmmmm why didn’t the attendant mention this one. Oh well, who cares, it was relief for my bladder, which was about to burst open!

Well this station is apparently very popular since it’s at the exit for the MA Pike and has a Dunkin Donuts inside. I needed to make two trips around the parking lot before I created my own parking space. Managing to walk with crossing my legs was difficult but I easily spotted the restroom sign and sprinted across the store. That’s when I found it was in use! I knocked to let the person someone was waiting, then paced and paced and paced. At last a flush!! Awaiting anxiously for the door to open, I waited, and waited and waited. Then another flush – WTF is going on!! I knocked on the door again, LOUDLY and a faint “just a minute” came from the other side. Mind you, all this time, I’m still mentally counting the minutes and pacing! The door opens and the little blue haired lady is standing in front of me, politely telling me there is no water to wash my hands!!! Needless to say, that was the least of my concerns as I just about ran her over.

Back on the road again, I turn the next bend in the road and there's McDonald's and Wendy's. Oh well, make a mental note for the next time I drive that road. Now I’m getting stuck behind every “Sunday driver”, oil delivery truck, sight-seer that could possibly be out. It’s now 10:45 and I’m starting to wonder where the hell is Rt. 67, I haven’t seen any signs for it. Figuring it must be just ahead, I continue on. Wanting to see the beautiful scenery and frantically looking for a street sign to verify I’m going in the right direction. Finally it’s 11:00, time for my interview, and I’m still on Rt. 32N and can’t find any signs of life around! I pulled off the road and searched the map that Pete gave me (THANK YOU PETE!!). That’s when I discovered I must have missed my turn about 15 minutes BEFORE!! Quick U-Turn and head back the way I came. Well, I found those slow-pokes were traveling in BOTH directions and always ahead of me!

When I finally get back to where I think I should have turned, I discovered there are no signs for Rt. 67 and I had already PASSED my turn when I stopped at the first gas station. I would love dearly to stop back at that station and do some “kick ass” for not suggesting might be going in the wrong direction. At that point I was already 30 minutes late for the interview and still hadn’t actually found Rt. 67. Sometimes, you just have to give in to the “powers that be” and pray they are trying to tell you something.

To quote a song "Oh What A Night" let's just say, I had a very enjoyable evening and leave it at that :)

Video Voyeur Update:


May 5, 2003

Klarides Praises Video Voyeur Arrest in Colchester
New Law That Representative Spearheaded Used to Charge Suspect

HARTFORD- State Representative Themis Klarides today praised the arrest in Colchester of a man under her landmark video voyeurism law, which was put into effect in 1999. Representative Klarides led the effort in the Connecticut General Assembly to pass the legislation, which made it a crime to videotape or photograph anyone who ought to have a reasonable expectation of privacy, for the purpose of sexual gratification or malicious intent. It makes video voyeurism a Class A misdemeanor, punishable by up to a year in prison. Distribution of the material is a felony, which can get the perpetrator five years in prison.

Ronald Lamontagne, a 43-year-old former Connecticut resident who now resides in Worcester, Massachusetts, has been arrested under the new video voyeurism statute for videotaping several women during private moments. Mr. Lamontagne allegedly distributed a number of copies of the footage worldwide, without the knowledge or consent of the women taped. He is charged with two counts of voyeurism, and twenty counts of disseminating voyeuristic material via the Internet.

“This is precisely the kind of criminal act my initial legislation was aimed at combating,” said Representative Klarides. “In this case, there is not only an allegation of voyeurism, but of disseminating the material in video form to people throughout the country, and in other countries. It is certainly criminal to violate someone’s privacy through the act of voyeurism, but actually taping and distributing the footage compounds the violation against the victims in this case. Now, by simply popping a tape in a VCR, these victims are having their right to privacy violated again and again.”

Klarides noted that because of Connecticut’s stronger voyeurism laws, the penalty for the suspect would be substantially stronger than if he had been arrested in neighboring states. She pointed to a recent case in Long Island where a voyeur had installed a camera in the smoke detector of his tenant to observe and video tape her in private moments. The offender in this case received a fine as a penalty for trespass.

Representative Klarides also referred to new legislation that she has introduced this session, which raises the penalty of voyeurism from a class A misdemeanor, and would make the act of voyeurism a class D felony, just as the act of distributing voyeuristic material is.

“Connecticut is ahead of the curve compared to other states,” said Klarides. “ Rhode Island and New York have only recently taken steps to strengthen their laws against this sort of offense, and they do not yet have adequate legal penalties for these offenses. There is a great deal of satisfaction on my part to know that such an offender, if proven guilty, will now face very substantial criminal penalties more equal to the offense.”

Lamontagne is being held on a $15,000 bond and awaits arraignment in Norwich Superior Court.

Just a quick blurb to let everyone know the Annual CT Space & Aviation Day was a HUGE success!!!! Estimated attendance was 10,000 people --- FANTASTIC!!!!! I was working a slow venue at the Fire Academy (everyone wanted to see the jets) and still managed to $200+ in T-shirt sales. If you managed to join us for the day, THANK YOU for making it a success. If you didn't join us -- you had better be there next year!!

REMINDER

Come visit me at the Annual CT Space & Aviation Day!!! It promises to be a fun-fille day for adults & children and for a great cause. All proceeds go the the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp.

SPACE & AVIATION DAY
AT BRADLEY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

A BENEFIT FOR THE HOLE IN THE WALL GANG CAMP
SATURDAY, JUNE 28, 2003 10:00 AM – 2:00 PM
CELEBRATING AND SALUTING OUR HEROES

· Iraqi Freedom Fighters of the 103rd Airborne Division, CT Air National Guard
· Connecticut’s Memorial to Fallen Firefighters, CT Fire Academy
· 58th Bomb Wing Memorial, New England Air Museum

All venues open at 10:00 AM
Starting Location: CT Air National Guard Base

Tethered Hot Air Balloon Rides – Lego Building Competition – Big Inflatable Game
Refreshments - Free Parking - Free Admission

Donations Accepted

SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY

· CONNECTICUT AIR NATIONAL GUARD – Come and see close up a variety of military aircraft.

· CONNECTICUT STATE POLICE – Learn about dive and SWAT teams, DARE, Children’s ID Units, Major Crime Van, Canine Unit, Explosive Disposal Unit and the Aviation Unit.

· NEW ENGLAND AIR MUSEUM – See exhibits and presentations in Celebration of the Centennial of the Airplane. Explore vintage aircraft, including the recently restored B-29 at the new 58th Bomb Wing Memorial.

· CONNECTICUT FIRE ACADEMY – Live Fire Demonstrations at 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM. Kid’s Fire Safety House, Vehicle Extrication Demonstrations and Flashy the robotic Fire Dog.

Since 1988, The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp has been fortunate to have the support of thousands of people. Each summer the camp provides love, hope and joy to over 900 children who are seriously ill with cancer, sickle cell anemia, HIV/AIDS, and other blood diseases. The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp also provides year-round programs for hundreds of children and their families – Free of Charge.


Directions from I-91

Take exit 40 (Bradley International Airport)
Take East Granby exit (RT 20)
Go right at the first light onto Bradley Park R.
Go right onto Nicholson Rd. to CT Air Guard
Go left at Air Guard onto Perimeter Rd.
At stop sign continue straight
Air Museum and Fire Academy will be on the left.

Shuttle buses run from parking areas to all venues

Main Parking Areas:
· New England Air Museum
· CT Fire Academy
· AGI Cargo Facility

Alternate Parking Areas: (on Bradley Park Rd.)
· Old Gas Turbine Building
· Eagle Global Logistics
· REM Sales

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
Unless circumstances change drastically (winning Powerball jackpot) I’ll be spending my time doing boring things, like looking for a job and working. I had plans for a cruise in November but had to cancel since I’m currently out of a job.

2. What was your first summer job?
Like most girls my first summer job was babysitting. I have two younger brothers and both of my parents worked. The first summer, I had 4 kids to watch, my brothers (ages 9 and 4) and friends son about age 9 and a 6 month old infant. If my memory is accurate, I was making $80/wk, not bad for only being 15 years old.

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
I would go where ever a cruise ship can take me! Caribbean in the winter, Alaska in the summer, up the Mississippi on a Riverboat, around the Mediterranean and Aegean Seas….

4. What was your worst vacation ever?
That would have to be the year my ex-husband and I rented a cabin at a campground in Damariscotta, Maine. First, rarely is there a “heat wave” in Maine but we had it that week!! The temps were in the 90’s, high humidity and no a/c in the cabin. Both of us spent a couple of days being ill because of the heat. We specifically asked for a cabin away from most of the campers because we enjoyed “quiet” surroundings. Where did they put us?!?! In the middle of a family reunion campout!!! One morning we woke only to find the outside of our cabin was covered with bees! Not too bad except that both my ex and I are allergic to bee stings. We had to wait for the bees to clear out before we could leave the cabin that morning.

5. What was your best vacation ever?
Tough choice it actually comes down to two vacations, both lasting for two weeks. The first was about 1981 and I went to Seattle, WA for two weeks with my roommate. She was from Seattle and had a lawsuit pending there. When she won her case, my trip became a “freebie”. Seattle is a beautiful city and very clean. I was even impressed with areas they considered “slums”. The Japanese influence is clearly seen in the gardens of Seattle. Wisteria, Rhododendrons, Azaleas abound and all nicely trimmed. The city itself is surrounded by snow capped mountains and Puget Sound. I spent a day wandering around the dock area of Seattle. In my wanderings, I found a little shop called “Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe”. It was literally packed with curious items – mummy, two-headed pig and all sorts of really cool items! The shop itself couldn’t have been larger than 20’ x 30’ and I spent several hours in there just looking around. We spent a day driving into the mountains, visited Shilshoe (sp?) it’s the largest marina in the US, Arboretum, Science Museum and just had a fabulous time while I was there.

The second vacation was last November when I did “back to back” cruises. Nothing like 18 days of cruise ship fun to get in some serious R&R!!

3. What about politically? Is it reasonable to allow a woman to plead insanity due to PMDD or hormonal imbalances?

There is a rather lengthy discussion attempting to take place on Victoria’s Blog in the “Comments” area. Comments just don’t allow enough room to voice what I feel the need to say. Therefore, I’m explaining my reasoning for the answer to the above question.


“As many as 90% of all women will have to deal with the aches, pains and emotional stress of Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS at some time during their reproductive years while 30% to 40% of all women will have symptoms distressing enough to interfere with their everyday lives. Some of the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome include abdominal bloating, acne, anxiety, backache, breast swelling and tenderness, cramps, depression, food cravings, fainting spells, fatigue, headaches, insomnia, altered sex drive, swelling of the fingers and ankles, and personality changes such as drastic mood swings, outbursts of anger, violence, and thoughts of suicide.”
“Premenstrual Syndrome is a reoccurring condition that affects women during the one to two weeks before menstruation begins (the luteal phase) and disappears at the end of a full flow of menses.”

“Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of PMS that affects 3% to 8% of all women. To diagnosis this disease a woman must suffer from at least five symptoms of depression listed below:
· Feelings of sadness or hopelessness,
· Possible suicidal thoughts,
· Tension or anxiety,
· Mood swings marked by periods of teariness,
· Persistent irritability or anger that affects other people,
· Disinterest in daily activities and relationships,
· Trouble concentrating,
· Fatigue or low energy,
· Food cravings or bingeing,
· Sleep disturbances,
· Feeling out of control
· Unordinary physical symptoms during the majority of her periods and must become worse a week or so before the period begins and disappear shortly after the period ends.

To diagnosis Premenstrual Syndrome and to rule out the possibility of a mood disorder or another disease with similar symptoms there must be at least a week during the first part of the menstrual cycle that is symptom free. To determine this, your doctor will probably ask you to keep track of when your symptoms occur. “

The above information was taken from Healing With Nutrition web site.

Many people believe PMS/PMDD to be an “excuse” for inappropriate behavior. While I have know MANY women to use PMS/PMDD as an excuse, I also know from first hand experience that it’s VERY real. Just like with any other disease how can you determine who will suffer from PMS/PMDD. Plain and simple, you can’t determine. Should the possibility of PMS/PMDD keep all women out of decision making/power positions – hell no! Only 40% of the female will have symptoms severe enough to interfere with daily routines. Of the 40% of women, only 3% - 8% would be classified as severe PMS or PMDD as the medical field now calls it.

I was diagnosed with PMDD after MONTHS (close to a year) of thinking I was stressed out, over worked or worse, losing my mind. Not once did I ever associate it with being PMDD. Most women know about the bloating, food cravings, irritability as symptoms. The other symptoms are not discussed, never told to us and therefore it goes undetected. According to my physician, at that time, women had previously been locked in institutions because they were “crazy”.

Based on my experience with PMDD, I would not have trusted myself in any position of authority! I have “bolded” all the symptoms I had for a 2 – 2.5 week period EVERY MONTH for almost a year before I knew what was happening to my body. I could hear words come out of my mouth and not want to believe I was actually saying those things. Emotions were rampant, one day in particular a co-worker stopped by my desk to say “good-morning”. We had a nice cheery conversation and he left. Another co-worker came up about 10 minutes later to say “good morning”. Aside from the fact that I was crying my eyes out, I also told him to “fuck off.” I knew I was doing this, I even felt sorry for all my co-workers (department of 15 people – all men!) but I had no control over what I said and did. NONE! People that know me also know I would NEVER say anything even remotely close to that, while at work. There were many nights, I fought urges to sail my car off the closest bridge. I didn’t want to drive anywhere out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from acting upon that urge.

How can any woman determine what is going on with her body, when she doesn’t know the symptoms? Yet women are the only ones capable of making the diagnosis. Women need to be educated in the symptoms, not told they are crazy and locked up. Once it’s determined the problem is PMS/PMDD, there IS treatment but you can’t treat yourself for PMDD. At the PMS stage, there is vitamin therapy, diet/exercise therapy and hormone therapy. At the PMDD stage, you can chose hormone therapy or MAO inhibitors such as Prozac.

Now as for using PMS/PMDD as a valid defense, I still say YES. When you read the statistics. It would only be a valid defense for MAYBE 5% of the female population. There would be signs leading up to “whatever” that can be verified and testified to. If PMS/PMDD were not allowed as a defense, in essence, women would be denying that it happens and we go back to the days of being called “crazy” and institutionalized. It is a valid medical disorder caused within the female reproductive system. Denying what happens to our bodies is denying your gender. Men can’t have PMS/PMDD only women. Then again, women don’t have prostate problems and men do. There are physical differences in our bodies that we must accept and deal with. Not condemn each other for those differences.