Today looks a little brighter (not outside) on the job prospects than it has recently. I have an interview with a temp agency this afternoon. Temping is not what I would like to do but $10/hr. is better than no income at all. Knowing quite a few companies hire their temps, is another reason for the interview.
After the interview I'll head up to J&G's (they still allow smoking!!) and meet up with Debbie. Hopefully toss back a few Margarita's, maybe have dinner and shock the regulars because I'll be dressed up.
I finally heard from the company I interviewed with about 3 weeks ago. Apparently they are also interviewing internally for the job opening and hope to reach a decision by the end of the week. Why they couldn't return my calls and tell me this before, I have no idea. What I did to finally get a response was to e-mail the hiring manager, he forwarded my e-mail to HR and they responded.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Thursday, October 23, 2003
I give up!!!
I am no longer looking for a job. They just aren’t out there and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for a semi-decent job to come along. Then again, the jobs are out there – they just don’t want me. Don’t ask the reasons because I get the vaguest fucking answers when I try to find out – over qualified, under qualified, “not the right fit” give me a fucking break and TELL ME!!
Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job working 3rd shift. So far, I have called them twice and still have not gotten any response about the job status. My guess is that any day now, I will receive a “We think you can walk on water but hired someone else instead” letter. Now there’s a nice kick in the morale booster!
To make matters worse, mom calls every couple of days to ask about the job hunt. I know she means well but my patience is running in the negative. I’m ready to explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. I’m finding it difficult to control my anger when speaking with friends that mean well but have never been in this situation.
How many of you know just how demeaning it is to have 20+ years of experience and not be able to find work in your field? To know that every day you are out of work means your skills are one day closer to being obsolete. To have scrubbed toilets to pay bills (Yes! I did that for work while going to school) only to end up back in the same fucking place after 20 years. I just don’t have the energy, drive or even the will to start my life over.
I am no longer looking for a job. They just aren’t out there and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for a semi-decent job to come along. Then again, the jobs are out there – they just don’t want me. Don’t ask the reasons because I get the vaguest fucking answers when I try to find out – over qualified, under qualified, “not the right fit” give me a fucking break and TELL ME!!
Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job working 3rd shift. So far, I have called them twice and still have not gotten any response about the job status. My guess is that any day now, I will receive a “We think you can walk on water but hired someone else instead” letter. Now there’s a nice kick in the morale booster!
To make matters worse, mom calls every couple of days to ask about the job hunt. I know she means well but my patience is running in the negative. I’m ready to explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. I’m finding it difficult to control my anger when speaking with friends that mean well but have never been in this situation.
How many of you know just how demeaning it is to have 20+ years of experience and not be able to find work in your field? To know that every day you are out of work means your skills are one day closer to being obsolete. To have scrubbed toilets to pay bills (Yes! I did that for work while going to school) only to end up back in the same fucking place after 20 years. I just don’t have the energy, drive or even the will to start my life over.
E-mail from a friend, posted with his permission
Ian had returned from Beirut a short 4 1/2 months prior to the bombing.
Beriut Anniversary
Today is the 20th anniversary of the bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon.
On October 23rd 1983, at approximately 6:00 am, a truck laden with an estimated two tons of explosives and driven by a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group crashed past the Marine security guards on duty and through the front doors of the five story building nicknamed the "Beirut Hilton" on the Beirut International Airport and exploded. The blast killed 241 Marines and Navy Corpsman.
The Marine guards on duty had been instructed by their commanders to keep their weapons UNLOADED. I know one of them, and he will forever have nightmares of desperately fumbling with his magazine, trying to get it inserted into his M-16 so he could stop the attack. He saw the truck circling the parking lot, building up speed, and watched as it headed towards the building.
I also know several of the survivors (215 were pulled from the rubble), and one says that only a few men were awake and moving around... the vast majority were sound asleep in the first soft bed they had seen in months. (They normally slept in sandbagged bunkers that lined the perimeter of the airport.)
I lost a lot of friends that day... mothers lost their sons, wives lost their husbands, families lost members... and the nation lost alot of very good men.
Let's not forget, okay?
Ian Egan
Sgt. USMC
1979 - 1983
Ian had returned from Beirut a short 4 1/2 months prior to the bombing.
Beriut Anniversary
Today is the 20th anniversary of the bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon.
On October 23rd 1983, at approximately 6:00 am, a truck laden with an estimated two tons of explosives and driven by a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group crashed past the Marine security guards on duty and through the front doors of the five story building nicknamed the "Beirut Hilton" on the Beirut International Airport and exploded. The blast killed 241 Marines and Navy Corpsman.
The Marine guards on duty had been instructed by their commanders to keep their weapons UNLOADED. I know one of them, and he will forever have nightmares of desperately fumbling with his magazine, trying to get it inserted into his M-16 so he could stop the attack. He saw the truck circling the parking lot, building up speed, and watched as it headed towards the building.
I also know several of the survivors (215 were pulled from the rubble), and one says that only a few men were awake and moving around... the vast majority were sound asleep in the first soft bed they had seen in months. (They normally slept in sandbagged bunkers that lined the perimeter of the airport.)
I lost a lot of friends that day... mothers lost their sons, wives lost their husbands, families lost members... and the nation lost alot of very good men.
Let's not forget, okay?
Ian Egan
Sgt. USMC
1979 - 1983
Saturday, October 11, 2003
THE WEEK IN REVIEW
Last weekend, as most of you already know, was THE PITS! I won’t go into details because I don’t care to relive even the memory. Let’s just say, it was extremely depressing.
On Monday, a friend of mine, Wig, insisted I join him for lunch and drinks at J&G’s. Knowing I needed some major cheering up, J&G’s is the place for that to happen. Arriving about 11:30 AM, it was a bit too early for Margarita’s. I didn’t have my first drink until after I had eaten lunch. There was a new item listed on the lunch specials - Shepard’s Pie. You and I know how Shepard’s Pie is made - layer hamburg with a little gravy, then corn (or veggie of your choice) top with mashed potatoes and baked. They had all these ingredients but added a few of their own. First, they added, what I believe were chili spices to the hamburg. Second, there was no gravy, instead they had a tomato sauce over the top of the potatoes. Third, they topped the sauce with mozzarella. While I will say, lunch was edible, I won’t order it again. I think I need to have a talk with the owner’s and explain they should not be turning an English food into a Greek version of an Italian food.
Anyway, the afternoon was spent picking on JC, one of the regulars. How can you not pick on someone that tries to look as though he just stepped off the pages of GQ? “Taliban” Bobby is great for picking on people as well as just teasing. Bobby has done some strange things and got his nickname by coming out of the men’s room with a towel turban and dancing around the bar. All the horsing around, one-liners, and visuals (thanks to Bobby) made for an afternoon of laughs with occasional tears from laughing too hard. By the time I left J&G’s my depression was fading away. THANK YOU WIG!
Wednesday, I had a job interview with Retail Brand Alliance. This is the corporate office for a group of clothing stores. They own Casual Corner, August Max Woman, Petite Sophisticates and Brooks Brothers. I have a couple of friends, Lynn & Andrea, that work at RBA. Andrea had contacted me when she heard about the job opening in Computer Operations. When I told her I was definitely interested, she passed my resume on to the Supervisor. Anyway, when I arrived at RBA, whom do I see but Lynn, having a smoke. Seeing me in a skirt, was a bit of shock for her. She commented that she didn’t know I even owned of those. After a few minutes of chitchat and chuckles, I was off to the interview. The previous week’s major rejections, took its toll on me emotionally. Before going into the interview, decided I wasn’t going get my hopes up or speculate on how I felt about the interview. That didn’t last long. The interview went great. I’ve heard from Andrea, the manager was very impressed with my qualifications and me. He is now waiting for his boss to return from vacation, to get “things” moving along. Exactly what that mean, I don’t know. It could mean he is going to make me an offer or it could mean I need to go in for another interview or ….. I’m hoping to hear more this week.
Wednesday is also poetry night at Klekolo and it was my turn as host. The feature was Cynthia Peck. I decided to surprise people by remaining in my interview clothing. My normal Klekolo attire is jeans. The skirt must have scared them all away because I almost cancelled the reading due to a lack of poets. At 9:00 pm, only one poet had signed up for the open mic. Karl & Victoria showed up around 9:20 pm. That gave us two poets, a feature and me. Instead of having Cynthia feature, it was decided to just have an open mic with three poets and myself. It was a short night and by 10:30 pm, we were ordering drinks at Cornerstone’s.
Thursday, it was time to enjoy the beautiful day outside. With temperatures close to 80, I went for a ride, in search of fall foliage. My first stop was at Cynthia’s – she forgot her wallet at Cornerstone’s. Next, I just picked a road and drove until I decided to turn. I drove around for a few hours, admiring the scenery and hissing at the political signs that take root every autumn. Before I knew it, I was at the back entrance to Buckland Hills Mall. There were a couple of things I needed to pick up at Michael’s Crafts so I a made a quick stop and then headed home.
Friday, I was lazy and did nothing J Actually that’s not quite true, I repotted 3 plants and I hung a few pictures.
Here is it, Saturday, and I’m planning to head to my parents house this afternoon. I’ll bring along my camera and again, search for the perfect autumn foliage picture.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…….
Last weekend, as most of you already know, was THE PITS! I won’t go into details because I don’t care to relive even the memory. Let’s just say, it was extremely depressing.
On Monday, a friend of mine, Wig, insisted I join him for lunch and drinks at J&G’s. Knowing I needed some major cheering up, J&G’s is the place for that to happen. Arriving about 11:30 AM, it was a bit too early for Margarita’s. I didn’t have my first drink until after I had eaten lunch. There was a new item listed on the lunch specials - Shepard’s Pie. You and I know how Shepard’s Pie is made - layer hamburg with a little gravy, then corn (or veggie of your choice) top with mashed potatoes and baked. They had all these ingredients but added a few of their own. First, they added, what I believe were chili spices to the hamburg. Second, there was no gravy, instead they had a tomato sauce over the top of the potatoes. Third, they topped the sauce with mozzarella. While I will say, lunch was edible, I won’t order it again. I think I need to have a talk with the owner’s and explain they should not be turning an English food into a Greek version of an Italian food.
Anyway, the afternoon was spent picking on JC, one of the regulars. How can you not pick on someone that tries to look as though he just stepped off the pages of GQ? “Taliban” Bobby is great for picking on people as well as just teasing. Bobby has done some strange things and got his nickname by coming out of the men’s room with a towel turban and dancing around the bar. All the horsing around, one-liners, and visuals (thanks to Bobby) made for an afternoon of laughs with occasional tears from laughing too hard. By the time I left J&G’s my depression was fading away. THANK YOU WIG!
Wednesday, I had a job interview with Retail Brand Alliance. This is the corporate office for a group of clothing stores. They own Casual Corner, August Max Woman, Petite Sophisticates and Brooks Brothers. I have a couple of friends, Lynn & Andrea, that work at RBA. Andrea had contacted me when she heard about the job opening in Computer Operations. When I told her I was definitely interested, she passed my resume on to the Supervisor. Anyway, when I arrived at RBA, whom do I see but Lynn, having a smoke. Seeing me in a skirt, was a bit of shock for her. She commented that she didn’t know I even owned of those. After a few minutes of chitchat and chuckles, I was off to the interview. The previous week’s major rejections, took its toll on me emotionally. Before going into the interview, decided I wasn’t going get my hopes up or speculate on how I felt about the interview. That didn’t last long. The interview went great. I’ve heard from Andrea, the manager was very impressed with my qualifications and me. He is now waiting for his boss to return from vacation, to get “things” moving along. Exactly what that mean, I don’t know. It could mean he is going to make me an offer or it could mean I need to go in for another interview or ….. I’m hoping to hear more this week.
Wednesday is also poetry night at Klekolo and it was my turn as host. The feature was Cynthia Peck. I decided to surprise people by remaining in my interview clothing. My normal Klekolo attire is jeans. The skirt must have scared them all away because I almost cancelled the reading due to a lack of poets. At 9:00 pm, only one poet had signed up for the open mic. Karl & Victoria showed up around 9:20 pm. That gave us two poets, a feature and me. Instead of having Cynthia feature, it was decided to just have an open mic with three poets and myself. It was a short night and by 10:30 pm, we were ordering drinks at Cornerstone’s.
Thursday, it was time to enjoy the beautiful day outside. With temperatures close to 80, I went for a ride, in search of fall foliage. My first stop was at Cynthia’s – she forgot her wallet at Cornerstone’s. Next, I just picked a road and drove until I decided to turn. I drove around for a few hours, admiring the scenery and hissing at the political signs that take root every autumn. Before I knew it, I was at the back entrance to Buckland Hills Mall. There were a couple of things I needed to pick up at Michael’s Crafts so I a made a quick stop and then headed home.
Friday, I was lazy and did nothing J Actually that’s not quite true, I repotted 3 plants and I hung a few pictures.
Here is it, Saturday, and I’m planning to head to my parents house this afternoon. I’ll bring along my camera and again, search for the perfect autumn foliage picture.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…….
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Attitude Adjustment Needed
It's a bitch when you know your attitude sucks but it's a valid attitude. People keep telling me "things will get better" and "it just takes time" and for over a year, I have believed them and hoped for those same things to be true. The fact is people, it's NOT getting better -- look at the unemployment figures, they aren't going down!!!
After 20+ years in IT, and being out of work for 13 months, I came to the realization, I will probably NEVER work in IT again. That translates to 20+ of experience means nothing! I have nothing to show for all of those years. I don't own a home, no retirement funds or no savings left, no benefits. My car is 7 years old, in need of a tune-up, tires and probably in need of brakes. People wonder why I have such a negative attitude. Try to imagine throwing 20 years of your life out the window and starting over, at the age of 46, with nothing! That is what I have been FORCED to do. It's terrifying!!
How do I start over? I don't have a clue!! I do know, the first thing is to find a job - any job, with benefits!! Hopefully one of the benefits will be tuition reimbursement. Then I will have the ability to go back to school and be retrained. There are certain jobs I would like to do, but I don't know if I have the time, money or even the energy left to explore those options. Most IT jobs seem to be moving to foreign countries. I will not consider training for anything in IT, even though I enjoy the work.
While working at Wiremold, I had taken a "Professional Skills and Assessment" test. Scoring high in artistic and nurturing categories the following careers paths were suggested - Childcare, Culinary Arts, Teaching, Nursing. Who knows, maybe I can teach children how to cook? What I do know is that is that any choice will be a long, hard process rebuild. My only choice is to "just do it" or work at a mindless job until I am forced into retirement or drop dead.
I know everyone means well when they tell me to "look on the bright side" and "things will get better". Look at what have left for choices and tell me HONESTLY that you would not have the same "I was fucked over again" attitude.
It's a bitch when you know your attitude sucks but it's a valid attitude. People keep telling me "things will get better" and "it just takes time" and for over a year, I have believed them and hoped for those same things to be true. The fact is people, it's NOT getting better -- look at the unemployment figures, they aren't going down!!!
After 20+ years in IT, and being out of work for 13 months, I came to the realization, I will probably NEVER work in IT again. That translates to 20+ of experience means nothing! I have nothing to show for all of those years. I don't own a home, no retirement funds or no savings left, no benefits. My car is 7 years old, in need of a tune-up, tires and probably in need of brakes. People wonder why I have such a negative attitude. Try to imagine throwing 20 years of your life out the window and starting over, at the age of 46, with nothing! That is what I have been FORCED to do. It's terrifying!!
How do I start over? I don't have a clue!! I do know, the first thing is to find a job - any job, with benefits!! Hopefully one of the benefits will be tuition reimbursement. Then I will have the ability to go back to school and be retrained. There are certain jobs I would like to do, but I don't know if I have the time, money or even the energy left to explore those options. Most IT jobs seem to be moving to foreign countries. I will not consider training for anything in IT, even though I enjoy the work.
While working at Wiremold, I had taken a "Professional Skills and Assessment" test. Scoring high in artistic and nurturing categories the following careers paths were suggested - Childcare, Culinary Arts, Teaching, Nursing. Who knows, maybe I can teach children how to cook? What I do know is that is that any choice will be a long, hard process rebuild. My only choice is to "just do it" or work at a mindless job until I am forced into retirement or drop dead.
I know everyone means well when they tell me to "look on the bright side" and "things will get better". Look at what have left for choices and tell me HONESTLY that you would not have the same "I was fucked over again" attitude.
Friday, October 03, 2003
You think your day was bad.....
Saying I am not having a good day would be an understatement. I've been out of work for over a year and had TWO very promising job interviews recently. Today I received rejections for BOTH of those jobs. Unemployment has run out and I have maybe $5,000 dollars left to my name. At the age of 46, I have NO medical insurance, NO retirement, NO savings, NO job prospects and NO great "love of my life". Needless to say, my first drink was poured about fours hours ago and my opinion is that "LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!"
Saying I am not having a good day would be an understatement. I've been out of work for over a year and had TWO very promising job interviews recently. Today I received rejections for BOTH of those jobs. Unemployment has run out and I have maybe $5,000 dollars left to my name. At the age of 46, I have NO medical insurance, NO retirement, NO savings, NO job prospects and NO great "love of my life". Needless to say, my first drink was poured about fours hours ago and my opinion is that "LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!"
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