Holiday Depression
This time of the year there is a marked increase in depression. From my own personal experiences, the best remedy for me is to force myself into the Holiday Spirit. That includes decorating and enjoying the company of friends. Forcing myself to do things I KNOW are fun, but just don't feel like doing.
One of the most rewarding things I have done in the past, is to buy Christmas gifts for a needy child. There are Christmas trees set up at various places with decorated with tags. These tags have the name, age, gift suggestion for a child in foster care with DCF. Younger children usually have toys written for suggestions, while teens have clothing and sizes listed. These are gifts I actually enjoy purchasing. I know my purchase will be wanted and appreciated.
I recall one year, I chose a 5 year old girl. She wanted a black baby doll. Off I went to a huge toy store in search of the perfect baby doll. I must have spent two hours in the store to find just the right doll. Of course, it's no fun having JUST a doll, she needed clothing too! I had to buy several outfits for the doll. The sense of joy it gave me, to be able to make a child happy for Christmas, was unbelievable.
As I opened my gifts that Christmas, I could imagine the look on the little girl's face, knowing that "Santa" brought her just what she wanted for Christmas. To me, that was the best Christmas gift, I ever gave to myself!
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Friday, November 28, 2003
Happy Holidays
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was an excellent day shared with friends – Bill, Sonny, JR, Ann and Marsha. We chatted, watched football, teased Sonny about his losing football bets and ate way too much food. JR left soon after dinner because he had to be at work early today. You see he works for Northwest Airlines loading/unloading baggage. With all the holiday travelers, the next few days are going to be very busy work days for him.
Ann is mom to Bill & JR and a very delightful lady. I spent most of the afternoon listening to Ann reminisce. Prior to her marriage, Ann was in the theater as a singer/actress. She told me of the days spent traveling to Boston, NY, San Francisco and Toronto with the touring productions of South Pacific and Oklahoma. How she had been an understudy (I’m not sure in which play) and had to fill in for 3 performances opposite Ray Bolger. Even after she left the theater and had started her family, Ray Bolger remembered her and invited her to his performances. She told me how she and her husband, John, had met when she toured with South Pacific. Apparently a mutual friend sent John a note saying if you would like to have a night of fun, look up Annie while she’s in town. Ann still has the note and has it in a frame. Listening to Ann’s stories reminded me of times past, listening to Memere talk of how she met Pepere. In her words, “she chased him until he finally caught her.”
Today marks the starts of the Holiday shopping season and also the start of the days, I stay as far from malls as possible. While I love shopping for Christmas gifts, I HATE MALLS!!! I prefer to find little shops and special gifts for family and friends. Although this year will be a very poor Christmas for me, I will still manage to find or bake gifts for people I care about. I have discovered the joys of on-line shopping and will probably do most of my shopping through the internet and catalogs.
While decorating for the season is nice, I may pass it up this year. You see, I chose to have a den instead of a 2nd bedroom and that leaves me with no furniture in my living room. I was hoping to have a job by now and new living room furniture. I don't see any sense in filling an empty room with Christmas decorations. Then again, maybe I will fill the whole room with nothing but Christmas decorations. Turn it into my own "Winter Wonderland".
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was an excellent day shared with friends – Bill, Sonny, JR, Ann and Marsha. We chatted, watched football, teased Sonny about his losing football bets and ate way too much food. JR left soon after dinner because he had to be at work early today. You see he works for Northwest Airlines loading/unloading baggage. With all the holiday travelers, the next few days are going to be very busy work days for him.
Ann is mom to Bill & JR and a very delightful lady. I spent most of the afternoon listening to Ann reminisce. Prior to her marriage, Ann was in the theater as a singer/actress. She told me of the days spent traveling to Boston, NY, San Francisco and Toronto with the touring productions of South Pacific and Oklahoma. How she had been an understudy (I’m not sure in which play) and had to fill in for 3 performances opposite Ray Bolger. Even after she left the theater and had started her family, Ray Bolger remembered her and invited her to his performances. She told me how she and her husband, John, had met when she toured with South Pacific. Apparently a mutual friend sent John a note saying if you would like to have a night of fun, look up Annie while she’s in town. Ann still has the note and has it in a frame. Listening to Ann’s stories reminded me of times past, listening to Memere talk of how she met Pepere. In her words, “she chased him until he finally caught her.”
Today marks the starts of the Holiday shopping season and also the start of the days, I stay as far from malls as possible. While I love shopping for Christmas gifts, I HATE MALLS!!! I prefer to find little shops and special gifts for family and friends. Although this year will be a very poor Christmas for me, I will still manage to find or bake gifts for people I care about. I have discovered the joys of on-line shopping and will probably do most of my shopping through the internet and catalogs.
While decorating for the season is nice, I may pass it up this year. You see, I chose to have a den instead of a 2nd bedroom and that leaves me with no furniture in my living room. I was hoping to have a job by now and new living room furniture. I don't see any sense in filling an empty room with Christmas decorations. Then again, maybe I will fill the whole room with nothing but Christmas decorations. Turn it into my own "Winter Wonderland".
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Good or Bad?
Is it good or bad when an agency searches Monster.com, finds your resume and calls you. After spending 10 minutes or so, speaking with the person, you find out the job is the same job you interviewed for on Monday.
When I left the interview, I was told they would be making a decision that day and contacting the agency later in the afternoon. When I didn't hear from the agency by Tuesday afternoon, I sent an e-mail, only to find out the company was interviewing someone Tuesday afternoon.
Here it is Wednesday afternoon and I haven't heard any feedback about the interview. However, I get a phone call from another agency for the same job.
I told the 2nd agency we could always submit my resume over and over, leaving them the choice of me or me :)
Is it good or bad when an agency searches Monster.com, finds your resume and calls you. After spending 10 minutes or so, speaking with the person, you find out the job is the same job you interviewed for on Monday.
When I left the interview, I was told they would be making a decision that day and contacting the agency later in the afternoon. When I didn't hear from the agency by Tuesday afternoon, I sent an e-mail, only to find out the company was interviewing someone Tuesday afternoon.
Here it is Wednesday afternoon and I haven't heard any feedback about the interview. However, I get a phone call from another agency for the same job.
I told the 2nd agency we could always submit my resume over and over, leaving them the choice of me or me :)
When it rains....
This week started off fairly good. I woke Monday morning knowing I had a job interview in the afternoon. Going into the interview, I was also aware they had postponed making a decision on Friday, because I have Lotus Notes installations/troubleshooting experience. Apparently no other candidate had experience with Notes. That's a big plus for me.
So I get myself ready for the interview, climb into my car and start it up. Hmmmm brake and battery "idiots" decide to stay on. Not good! Knowing it's been cold outside, I thought maybe the car just needed to warm up a bit. Well after 5 minutes, the brake light was still on. Decision time, do I chance driving to Norwich, with my brake light on (I was aware I would need brakes soon but have been putting it off until I had a job offer) OR do I cancel the interview and get my car to my mechanic? Hoping I was just low on brake fluid I decided to go to the gas station and have the fluid checked. About a block from my house, the light went off. At that point I decided to chance the drive to Norwich knowing my parents weren't far away from the interview site if I need assistance.
The interview went great! When I left, the HR person said she would be in contact with the agency later in the afternoon and would want someone to start immediately. Knowing I needed to have my car checked out, I contacted the agency to find out "just how immediately" is immediate. Realizing it would be a few days, I called my mechanic to schedule an appointment for Tuesday morning.
Ahhh poor Serge, I told him about the idiot lights being on and left him with explicit instructions. "If you find anything else that should be fixed, unless it's a safety issue, DO NOT TOUCH IT!" Then I explained about being out of work for over a year and funds are running low.
Well, I knew I was in deep shit when Serge called, later in the morning, about my car. Front brakes were shot, rear brakes were leaking fluid --- ok, new brakes needed all around. That explains the brake light. Now the battery light was on because the battery wasn't charging properly. Apparently the belts were slipping because they were covered with power steering fluid that was spraying out of the power steering hub. Yep, I need a new power steering hub to go with the new brakes. Estimated total for all this -- $950!!!!
My sanity is clinging to small thread of hope that I get this job (or any job) before the bill comes in, at the end of the month. Being a "long term" customer, my mechanic bills me for repairs.
Is anyone having a better week? I could use some good news for a change.
This week started off fairly good. I woke Monday morning knowing I had a job interview in the afternoon. Going into the interview, I was also aware they had postponed making a decision on Friday, because I have Lotus Notes installations/troubleshooting experience. Apparently no other candidate had experience with Notes. That's a big plus for me.
So I get myself ready for the interview, climb into my car and start it up. Hmmmm brake and battery "idiots" decide to stay on. Not good! Knowing it's been cold outside, I thought maybe the car just needed to warm up a bit. Well after 5 minutes, the brake light was still on. Decision time, do I chance driving to Norwich, with my brake light on (I was aware I would need brakes soon but have been putting it off until I had a job offer) OR do I cancel the interview and get my car to my mechanic? Hoping I was just low on brake fluid I decided to go to the gas station and have the fluid checked. About a block from my house, the light went off. At that point I decided to chance the drive to Norwich knowing my parents weren't far away from the interview site if I need assistance.
The interview went great! When I left, the HR person said she would be in contact with the agency later in the afternoon and would want someone to start immediately. Knowing I needed to have my car checked out, I contacted the agency to find out "just how immediately" is immediate. Realizing it would be a few days, I called my mechanic to schedule an appointment for Tuesday morning.
Ahhh poor Serge, I told him about the idiot lights being on and left him with explicit instructions. "If you find anything else that should be fixed, unless it's a safety issue, DO NOT TOUCH IT!" Then I explained about being out of work for over a year and funds are running low.
Well, I knew I was in deep shit when Serge called, later in the morning, about my car. Front brakes were shot, rear brakes were leaking fluid --- ok, new brakes needed all around. That explains the brake light. Now the battery light was on because the battery wasn't charging properly. Apparently the belts were slipping because they were covered with power steering fluid that was spraying out of the power steering hub. Yep, I need a new power steering hub to go with the new brakes. Estimated total for all this -- $950!!!!
My sanity is clinging to small thread of hope that I get this job (or any job) before the bill comes in, at the end of the month. Being a "long term" customer, my mechanic bills me for repairs.
Is anyone having a better week? I could use some good news for a change.
Saturday, November 08, 2003
I haven't had much to say lately so I thought I'd post a list of "one liners" recently sent to me. Need a chuckle -- then read on!
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "Terminal"?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to
annoy for the rest of your life.
12.. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've
stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
Miss America?
15. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
16. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
17. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick
that up, you don't know where it's been!"
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "Terminal"?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to
annoy for the rest of your life.
12.. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've
stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
Miss America?
15. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
16. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
17. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick
that up, you don't know where it's been!"
Saturday, November 01, 2003
If anyone has gone to my webpage, you've noticed I don't update it frequently. The photographs take up quite a bit of space and I keep running out of room. I shouldn't complain - it is free. The pictures also take time to load when viewing them. Because of these problems, I am in the process of moving my photographs to Webshots. People will have the ability to download pictures and/or order prints. Currently I have loaded the GGC2002 (Great Group Cruise) pictures and recent pictures from my "fall foliage" trek. Eventually I will remove most of the photographs from my webpage.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Today looks a little brighter (not outside) on the job prospects than it has recently. I have an interview with a temp agency this afternoon. Temping is not what I would like to do but $10/hr. is better than no income at all. Knowing quite a few companies hire their temps, is another reason for the interview.
After the interview I'll head up to J&G's (they still allow smoking!!) and meet up with Debbie. Hopefully toss back a few Margarita's, maybe have dinner and shock the regulars because I'll be dressed up.
I finally heard from the company I interviewed with about 3 weeks ago. Apparently they are also interviewing internally for the job opening and hope to reach a decision by the end of the week. Why they couldn't return my calls and tell me this before, I have no idea. What I did to finally get a response was to e-mail the hiring manager, he forwarded my e-mail to HR and they responded.
After the interview I'll head up to J&G's (they still allow smoking!!) and meet up with Debbie. Hopefully toss back a few Margarita's, maybe have dinner and shock the regulars because I'll be dressed up.
I finally heard from the company I interviewed with about 3 weeks ago. Apparently they are also interviewing internally for the job opening and hope to reach a decision by the end of the week. Why they couldn't return my calls and tell me this before, I have no idea. What I did to finally get a response was to e-mail the hiring manager, he forwarded my e-mail to HR and they responded.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
I give up!!!
I am no longer looking for a job. They just aren’t out there and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for a semi-decent job to come along. Then again, the jobs are out there – they just don’t want me. Don’t ask the reasons because I get the vaguest fucking answers when I try to find out – over qualified, under qualified, “not the right fit” give me a fucking break and TELL ME!!
Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job working 3rd shift. So far, I have called them twice and still have not gotten any response about the job status. My guess is that any day now, I will receive a “We think you can walk on water but hired someone else instead” letter. Now there’s a nice kick in the morale booster!
To make matters worse, mom calls every couple of days to ask about the job hunt. I know she means well but my patience is running in the negative. I’m ready to explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. I’m finding it difficult to control my anger when speaking with friends that mean well but have never been in this situation.
How many of you know just how demeaning it is to have 20+ years of experience and not be able to find work in your field? To know that every day you are out of work means your skills are one day closer to being obsolete. To have scrubbed toilets to pay bills (Yes! I did that for work while going to school) only to end up back in the same fucking place after 20 years. I just don’t have the energy, drive or even the will to start my life over.
I am no longer looking for a job. They just aren’t out there and I can’t handle the stress of waiting for a semi-decent job to come along. Then again, the jobs are out there – they just don’t want me. Don’t ask the reasons because I get the vaguest fucking answers when I try to find out – over qualified, under qualified, “not the right fit” give me a fucking break and TELL ME!!
Two weeks ago, I interviewed for a job working 3rd shift. So far, I have called them twice and still have not gotten any response about the job status. My guess is that any day now, I will receive a “We think you can walk on water but hired someone else instead” letter. Now there’s a nice kick in the morale booster!
To make matters worse, mom calls every couple of days to ask about the job hunt. I know she means well but my patience is running in the negative. I’m ready to explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. I’m finding it difficult to control my anger when speaking with friends that mean well but have never been in this situation.
How many of you know just how demeaning it is to have 20+ years of experience and not be able to find work in your field? To know that every day you are out of work means your skills are one day closer to being obsolete. To have scrubbed toilets to pay bills (Yes! I did that for work while going to school) only to end up back in the same fucking place after 20 years. I just don’t have the energy, drive or even the will to start my life over.
E-mail from a friend, posted with his permission
Ian had returned from Beirut a short 4 1/2 months prior to the bombing.
Beriut Anniversary
Today is the 20th anniversary of the bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon.
On October 23rd 1983, at approximately 6:00 am, a truck laden with an estimated two tons of explosives and driven by a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group crashed past the Marine security guards on duty and through the front doors of the five story building nicknamed the "Beirut Hilton" on the Beirut International Airport and exploded. The blast killed 241 Marines and Navy Corpsman.
The Marine guards on duty had been instructed by their commanders to keep their weapons UNLOADED. I know one of them, and he will forever have nightmares of desperately fumbling with his magazine, trying to get it inserted into his M-16 so he could stop the attack. He saw the truck circling the parking lot, building up speed, and watched as it headed towards the building.
I also know several of the survivors (215 were pulled from the rubble), and one says that only a few men were awake and moving around... the vast majority were sound asleep in the first soft bed they had seen in months. (They normally slept in sandbagged bunkers that lined the perimeter of the airport.)
I lost a lot of friends that day... mothers lost their sons, wives lost their husbands, families lost members... and the nation lost alot of very good men.
Let's not forget, okay?
Ian Egan
Sgt. USMC
1979 - 1983
Ian had returned from Beirut a short 4 1/2 months prior to the bombing.
Beriut Anniversary
Today is the 20th anniversary of the bombing of the Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon.
On October 23rd 1983, at approximately 6:00 am, a truck laden with an estimated two tons of explosives and driven by a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group crashed past the Marine security guards on duty and through the front doors of the five story building nicknamed the "Beirut Hilton" on the Beirut International Airport and exploded. The blast killed 241 Marines and Navy Corpsman.
The Marine guards on duty had been instructed by their commanders to keep their weapons UNLOADED. I know one of them, and he will forever have nightmares of desperately fumbling with his magazine, trying to get it inserted into his M-16 so he could stop the attack. He saw the truck circling the parking lot, building up speed, and watched as it headed towards the building.
I also know several of the survivors (215 were pulled from the rubble), and one says that only a few men were awake and moving around... the vast majority were sound asleep in the first soft bed they had seen in months. (They normally slept in sandbagged bunkers that lined the perimeter of the airport.)
I lost a lot of friends that day... mothers lost their sons, wives lost their husbands, families lost members... and the nation lost alot of very good men.
Let's not forget, okay?
Ian Egan
Sgt. USMC
1979 - 1983
Saturday, October 11, 2003
THE WEEK IN REVIEW
Last weekend, as most of you already know, was THE PITS! I won’t go into details because I don’t care to relive even the memory. Let’s just say, it was extremely depressing.
On Monday, a friend of mine, Wig, insisted I join him for lunch and drinks at J&G’s. Knowing I needed some major cheering up, J&G’s is the place for that to happen. Arriving about 11:30 AM, it was a bit too early for Margarita’s. I didn’t have my first drink until after I had eaten lunch. There was a new item listed on the lunch specials - Shepard’s Pie. You and I know how Shepard’s Pie is made - layer hamburg with a little gravy, then corn (or veggie of your choice) top with mashed potatoes and baked. They had all these ingredients but added a few of their own. First, they added, what I believe were chili spices to the hamburg. Second, there was no gravy, instead they had a tomato sauce over the top of the potatoes. Third, they topped the sauce with mozzarella. While I will say, lunch was edible, I won’t order it again. I think I need to have a talk with the owner’s and explain they should not be turning an English food into a Greek version of an Italian food.
Anyway, the afternoon was spent picking on JC, one of the regulars. How can you not pick on someone that tries to look as though he just stepped off the pages of GQ? “Taliban” Bobby is great for picking on people as well as just teasing. Bobby has done some strange things and got his nickname by coming out of the men’s room with a towel turban and dancing around the bar. All the horsing around, one-liners, and visuals (thanks to Bobby) made for an afternoon of laughs with occasional tears from laughing too hard. By the time I left J&G’s my depression was fading away. THANK YOU WIG!
Wednesday, I had a job interview with Retail Brand Alliance. This is the corporate office for a group of clothing stores. They own Casual Corner, August Max Woman, Petite Sophisticates and Brooks Brothers. I have a couple of friends, Lynn & Andrea, that work at RBA. Andrea had contacted me when she heard about the job opening in Computer Operations. When I told her I was definitely interested, she passed my resume on to the Supervisor. Anyway, when I arrived at RBA, whom do I see but Lynn, having a smoke. Seeing me in a skirt, was a bit of shock for her. She commented that she didn’t know I even owned of those. After a few minutes of chitchat and chuckles, I was off to the interview. The previous week’s major rejections, took its toll on me emotionally. Before going into the interview, decided I wasn’t going get my hopes up or speculate on how I felt about the interview. That didn’t last long. The interview went great. I’ve heard from Andrea, the manager was very impressed with my qualifications and me. He is now waiting for his boss to return from vacation, to get “things” moving along. Exactly what that mean, I don’t know. It could mean he is going to make me an offer or it could mean I need to go in for another interview or ….. I’m hoping to hear more this week.
Wednesday is also poetry night at Klekolo and it was my turn as host. The feature was Cynthia Peck. I decided to surprise people by remaining in my interview clothing. My normal Klekolo attire is jeans. The skirt must have scared them all away because I almost cancelled the reading due to a lack of poets. At 9:00 pm, only one poet had signed up for the open mic. Karl & Victoria showed up around 9:20 pm. That gave us two poets, a feature and me. Instead of having Cynthia feature, it was decided to just have an open mic with three poets and myself. It was a short night and by 10:30 pm, we were ordering drinks at Cornerstone’s.
Thursday, it was time to enjoy the beautiful day outside. With temperatures close to 80, I went for a ride, in search of fall foliage. My first stop was at Cynthia’s – she forgot her wallet at Cornerstone’s. Next, I just picked a road and drove until I decided to turn. I drove around for a few hours, admiring the scenery and hissing at the political signs that take root every autumn. Before I knew it, I was at the back entrance to Buckland Hills Mall. There were a couple of things I needed to pick up at Michael’s Crafts so I a made a quick stop and then headed home.
Friday, I was lazy and did nothing J Actually that’s not quite true, I repotted 3 plants and I hung a few pictures.
Here is it, Saturday, and I’m planning to head to my parents house this afternoon. I’ll bring along my camera and again, search for the perfect autumn foliage picture.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…….
Last weekend, as most of you already know, was THE PITS! I won’t go into details because I don’t care to relive even the memory. Let’s just say, it was extremely depressing.
On Monday, a friend of mine, Wig, insisted I join him for lunch and drinks at J&G’s. Knowing I needed some major cheering up, J&G’s is the place for that to happen. Arriving about 11:30 AM, it was a bit too early for Margarita’s. I didn’t have my first drink until after I had eaten lunch. There was a new item listed on the lunch specials - Shepard’s Pie. You and I know how Shepard’s Pie is made - layer hamburg with a little gravy, then corn (or veggie of your choice) top with mashed potatoes and baked. They had all these ingredients but added a few of their own. First, they added, what I believe were chili spices to the hamburg. Second, there was no gravy, instead they had a tomato sauce over the top of the potatoes. Third, they topped the sauce with mozzarella. While I will say, lunch was edible, I won’t order it again. I think I need to have a talk with the owner’s and explain they should not be turning an English food into a Greek version of an Italian food.
Anyway, the afternoon was spent picking on JC, one of the regulars. How can you not pick on someone that tries to look as though he just stepped off the pages of GQ? “Taliban” Bobby is great for picking on people as well as just teasing. Bobby has done some strange things and got his nickname by coming out of the men’s room with a towel turban and dancing around the bar. All the horsing around, one-liners, and visuals (thanks to Bobby) made for an afternoon of laughs with occasional tears from laughing too hard. By the time I left J&G’s my depression was fading away. THANK YOU WIG!
Wednesday, I had a job interview with Retail Brand Alliance. This is the corporate office for a group of clothing stores. They own Casual Corner, August Max Woman, Petite Sophisticates and Brooks Brothers. I have a couple of friends, Lynn & Andrea, that work at RBA. Andrea had contacted me when she heard about the job opening in Computer Operations. When I told her I was definitely interested, she passed my resume on to the Supervisor. Anyway, when I arrived at RBA, whom do I see but Lynn, having a smoke. Seeing me in a skirt, was a bit of shock for her. She commented that she didn’t know I even owned of those. After a few minutes of chitchat and chuckles, I was off to the interview. The previous week’s major rejections, took its toll on me emotionally. Before going into the interview, decided I wasn’t going get my hopes up or speculate on how I felt about the interview. That didn’t last long. The interview went great. I’ve heard from Andrea, the manager was very impressed with my qualifications and me. He is now waiting for his boss to return from vacation, to get “things” moving along. Exactly what that mean, I don’t know. It could mean he is going to make me an offer or it could mean I need to go in for another interview or ….. I’m hoping to hear more this week.
Wednesday is also poetry night at Klekolo and it was my turn as host. The feature was Cynthia Peck. I decided to surprise people by remaining in my interview clothing. My normal Klekolo attire is jeans. The skirt must have scared them all away because I almost cancelled the reading due to a lack of poets. At 9:00 pm, only one poet had signed up for the open mic. Karl & Victoria showed up around 9:20 pm. That gave us two poets, a feature and me. Instead of having Cynthia feature, it was decided to just have an open mic with three poets and myself. It was a short night and by 10:30 pm, we were ordering drinks at Cornerstone’s.
Thursday, it was time to enjoy the beautiful day outside. With temperatures close to 80, I went for a ride, in search of fall foliage. My first stop was at Cynthia’s – she forgot her wallet at Cornerstone’s. Next, I just picked a road and drove until I decided to turn. I drove around for a few hours, admiring the scenery and hissing at the political signs that take root every autumn. Before I knew it, I was at the back entrance to Buckland Hills Mall. There were a couple of things I needed to pick up at Michael’s Crafts so I a made a quick stop and then headed home.
Friday, I was lazy and did nothing J Actually that’s not quite true, I repotted 3 plants and I hung a few pictures.
Here is it, Saturday, and I’m planning to head to my parents house this afternoon. I’ll bring along my camera and again, search for the perfect autumn foliage picture.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…….
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Attitude Adjustment Needed
It's a bitch when you know your attitude sucks but it's a valid attitude. People keep telling me "things will get better" and "it just takes time" and for over a year, I have believed them and hoped for those same things to be true. The fact is people, it's NOT getting better -- look at the unemployment figures, they aren't going down!!!
After 20+ years in IT, and being out of work for 13 months, I came to the realization, I will probably NEVER work in IT again. That translates to 20+ of experience means nothing! I have nothing to show for all of those years. I don't own a home, no retirement funds or no savings left, no benefits. My car is 7 years old, in need of a tune-up, tires and probably in need of brakes. People wonder why I have such a negative attitude. Try to imagine throwing 20 years of your life out the window and starting over, at the age of 46, with nothing! That is what I have been FORCED to do. It's terrifying!!
How do I start over? I don't have a clue!! I do know, the first thing is to find a job - any job, with benefits!! Hopefully one of the benefits will be tuition reimbursement. Then I will have the ability to go back to school and be retrained. There are certain jobs I would like to do, but I don't know if I have the time, money or even the energy left to explore those options. Most IT jobs seem to be moving to foreign countries. I will not consider training for anything in IT, even though I enjoy the work.
While working at Wiremold, I had taken a "Professional Skills and Assessment" test. Scoring high in artistic and nurturing categories the following careers paths were suggested - Childcare, Culinary Arts, Teaching, Nursing. Who knows, maybe I can teach children how to cook? What I do know is that is that any choice will be a long, hard process rebuild. My only choice is to "just do it" or work at a mindless job until I am forced into retirement or drop dead.
I know everyone means well when they tell me to "look on the bright side" and "things will get better". Look at what have left for choices and tell me HONESTLY that you would not have the same "I was fucked over again" attitude.
It's a bitch when you know your attitude sucks but it's a valid attitude. People keep telling me "things will get better" and "it just takes time" and for over a year, I have believed them and hoped for those same things to be true. The fact is people, it's NOT getting better -- look at the unemployment figures, they aren't going down!!!
After 20+ years in IT, and being out of work for 13 months, I came to the realization, I will probably NEVER work in IT again. That translates to 20+ of experience means nothing! I have nothing to show for all of those years. I don't own a home, no retirement funds or no savings left, no benefits. My car is 7 years old, in need of a tune-up, tires and probably in need of brakes. People wonder why I have such a negative attitude. Try to imagine throwing 20 years of your life out the window and starting over, at the age of 46, with nothing! That is what I have been FORCED to do. It's terrifying!!
How do I start over? I don't have a clue!! I do know, the first thing is to find a job - any job, with benefits!! Hopefully one of the benefits will be tuition reimbursement. Then I will have the ability to go back to school and be retrained. There are certain jobs I would like to do, but I don't know if I have the time, money or even the energy left to explore those options. Most IT jobs seem to be moving to foreign countries. I will not consider training for anything in IT, even though I enjoy the work.
While working at Wiremold, I had taken a "Professional Skills and Assessment" test. Scoring high in artistic and nurturing categories the following careers paths were suggested - Childcare, Culinary Arts, Teaching, Nursing. Who knows, maybe I can teach children how to cook? What I do know is that is that any choice will be a long, hard process rebuild. My only choice is to "just do it" or work at a mindless job until I am forced into retirement or drop dead.
I know everyone means well when they tell me to "look on the bright side" and "things will get better". Look at what have left for choices and tell me HONESTLY that you would not have the same "I was fucked over again" attitude.
Friday, October 03, 2003
You think your day was bad.....
Saying I am not having a good day would be an understatement. I've been out of work for over a year and had TWO very promising job interviews recently. Today I received rejections for BOTH of those jobs. Unemployment has run out and I have maybe $5,000 dollars left to my name. At the age of 46, I have NO medical insurance, NO retirement, NO savings, NO job prospects and NO great "love of my life". Needless to say, my first drink was poured about fours hours ago and my opinion is that "LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!"
Saying I am not having a good day would be an understatement. I've been out of work for over a year and had TWO very promising job interviews recently. Today I received rejections for BOTH of those jobs. Unemployment has run out and I have maybe $5,000 dollars left to my name. At the age of 46, I have NO medical insurance, NO retirement, NO savings, NO job prospects and NO great "love of my life". Needless to say, my first drink was poured about fours hours ago and my opinion is that "LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!"
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Cafe Downtown
Tonight I went to Cafe Downtown and listened to some great music. Pete Serge opened for Perfect Silence tonight. I won't bother to tell you Pete was great (he'll do that :) ) Tonight was the first feature gig for Perfect Silence and they were fabulous! Hopefully I managed to get some great pics. After I left, I realized I should have asked Pete, Dan and Sarah to pose for a few shots together, oh well, I try to remember next time.
Tonight I went to Cafe Downtown and listened to some great music. Pete Serge opened for Perfect Silence tonight. I won't bother to tell you Pete was great (he'll do that :) ) Tonight was the first feature gig for Perfect Silence and they were fabulous! Hopefully I managed to get some great pics. After I left, I realized I should have asked Pete, Dan and Sarah to pose for a few shots together, oh well, I try to remember next time.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Sunday, September 21, 2003
DWP – 9/21/03 Write about a daydream
Admit it, we all daydream. I would even wager we have one daydream in common – to hit it big in the lottery. Having been out of work for more than a year, I believe I have perfected this daydream. Yes, the normal, pay off all the bills, monetary gifts to family and close friends would be done. My daydream has added some extras to normal
I have many friends on-line and we cruise (on cruise ships) together. Over the years, a handful of friends have become very close. Our love of cruising brought us together but sharing our daily lives, made us friends. Quite a few of my friends read my blog entries and know these people. I will not name my friends, fearing I will forget to mention someone and cause hurt feelings. To thank my friends for being there for me, during good and bad times, I would take them on a cruise. I have not chosen the ports of call, they do not matter. I do know it will be on a Carnival ship – we love having fun on Carnival. Friends would receive first class airfare and/or limousine service to a luxury hotel, near the embarkation port. The night before embarkation would be spent with our usual “Meet & Greet”, fully catered with open bar. I would pick up all hotel charges, including meals and arrange for limousine service to and from the cruise ship.
If my friends compare their cruise documents, they will discover everyone has a Cat. 12 Suites. This will give us one major benefit – priority boarding and personal escorts through the long lines and directly to our suites. Once on board the ship, all bar tabs would be mine to pick up. No one will be driving that week except the ship’s captain. Now, he can join in our fun, but only if it turns the keys over to his second in command. Cruising with a large group, we rarely are able to dine together on formal night. Therefore, I would arrange one formal night for all my friends in the supper club. I am sure I can dream of more ways to thank my friends while on the ship. Sharing this information, lets them know how much I appreciate them and enjoy their company.
Of course, I can’t neglect the items I would purchase for myself after winning the lottery. I long to build a dream home on the northern coast of Maine. As I mentioned earlier, I have been out of work for over a year. This has given me plenty of time to daydream on the Internet. You see, I have had time to locate the plans for my dream home. There would be some modifications made to the plans. The most important changes would be an indoor heated swimming pool and a fireplace in the master bedroom. The “bonus room” would become a recreational area with pool table, sound system and bar.
With my love of cruising, you are probably wondering why I chose Maine instead of the Caribbean, for a dream home. I happen to love 3 out of 4 seasons. You can probably guess which season I do not like. Therefore, I intend to also purchase a custom built yacht and hire a full crew. My winters will be spent going from island to island in the Caribbean. Again, I have had plenty of time to search the Internet and I “think” this custom built yacht would work nicely for me. I would change the interior décor, since it is not to my taste in decor. Friends and family are more than welcomed to cruise with me. When the yacht is not in use, I might be coaxed into loaning it out to certain people.
You can see, I have spent a considerable amount of time daydreaming about winning it big in the lottery. Ahhhhh to dream……
Admit it, we all daydream. I would even wager we have one daydream in common – to hit it big in the lottery. Having been out of work for more than a year, I believe I have perfected this daydream. Yes, the normal, pay off all the bills, monetary gifts to family and close friends would be done. My daydream has added some extras to normal
I have many friends on-line and we cruise (on cruise ships) together. Over the years, a handful of friends have become very close. Our love of cruising brought us together but sharing our daily lives, made us friends. Quite a few of my friends read my blog entries and know these people. I will not name my friends, fearing I will forget to mention someone and cause hurt feelings. To thank my friends for being there for me, during good and bad times, I would take them on a cruise. I have not chosen the ports of call, they do not matter. I do know it will be on a Carnival ship – we love having fun on Carnival. Friends would receive first class airfare and/or limousine service to a luxury hotel, near the embarkation port. The night before embarkation would be spent with our usual “Meet & Greet”, fully catered with open bar. I would pick up all hotel charges, including meals and arrange for limousine service to and from the cruise ship.
If my friends compare their cruise documents, they will discover everyone has a Cat. 12 Suites. This will give us one major benefit – priority boarding and personal escorts through the long lines and directly to our suites. Once on board the ship, all bar tabs would be mine to pick up. No one will be driving that week except the ship’s captain. Now, he can join in our fun, but only if it turns the keys over to his second in command. Cruising with a large group, we rarely are able to dine together on formal night. Therefore, I would arrange one formal night for all my friends in the supper club. I am sure I can dream of more ways to thank my friends while on the ship. Sharing this information, lets them know how much I appreciate them and enjoy their company.
Of course, I can’t neglect the items I would purchase for myself after winning the lottery. I long to build a dream home on the northern coast of Maine. As I mentioned earlier, I have been out of work for over a year. This has given me plenty of time to daydream on the Internet. You see, I have had time to locate the plans for my dream home. There would be some modifications made to the plans. The most important changes would be an indoor heated swimming pool and a fireplace in the master bedroom. The “bonus room” would become a recreational area with pool table, sound system and bar.
With my love of cruising, you are probably wondering why I chose Maine instead of the Caribbean, for a dream home. I happen to love 3 out of 4 seasons. You can probably guess which season I do not like. Therefore, I intend to also purchase a custom built yacht and hire a full crew. My winters will be spent going from island to island in the Caribbean. Again, I have had plenty of time to search the Internet and I “think” this custom built yacht would work nicely for me. I would change the interior décor, since it is not to my taste in decor. Friends and family are more than welcomed to cruise with me. When the yacht is not in use, I might be coaxed into loaning it out to certain people.
You can see, I have spent a considerable amount of time daydreaming about winning it big in the lottery. Ahhhhh to dream……
Autumn
I love days like today, sunny with just a little nip in the air. The leaves are beginning to change colors. In a few short weeks, the hillsides will be dotted in shades of yellow, orange, red and green. These are the days; I love to take long rides in the country, browsing antique shops, orchards, and search for the perfect Jack-o-lantern pumpkin or simply laze by a stream.
It would be nice to share these rides with someone special, maybe take along a picnic lunch. One of my favorite stops is a state park in eastern Connecticut called Devil’s Hopyard. People rarely use the picnic areas, they are too busy walking the trails and viewing Chapman Falls. During past visits I have taken a few excellent (IMHO) pictures of Devil’s Hopyard, with the falls and stream covered with snow and ice. Although the pictures are in color, they appear almost black and white. Maybe this will be the year I get those great pictures of the fall foliage.
To me, Devil’s Hopyard is the perfect place for an autumn picnic. Since I’ll probably be there alone, it’s also a great place to quietly sit alongside the stream read a book, write, or simply become lost in daydreams.
I love days like today, sunny with just a little nip in the air. The leaves are beginning to change colors. In a few short weeks, the hillsides will be dotted in shades of yellow, orange, red and green. These are the days; I love to take long rides in the country, browsing antique shops, orchards, and search for the perfect Jack-o-lantern pumpkin or simply laze by a stream.
It would be nice to share these rides with someone special, maybe take along a picnic lunch. One of my favorite stops is a state park in eastern Connecticut called Devil’s Hopyard. People rarely use the picnic areas, they are too busy walking the trails and viewing Chapman Falls. During past visits I have taken a few excellent (IMHO) pictures of Devil’s Hopyard, with the falls and stream covered with snow and ice. Although the pictures are in color, they appear almost black and white. Maybe this will be the year I get those great pictures of the fall foliage.
To me, Devil’s Hopyard is the perfect place for an autumn picnic. Since I’ll probably be there alone, it’s also a great place to quietly sit alongside the stream read a book, write, or simply become lost in daydreams.
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